Thursday, December 23, 2010

If you're bored while traveling for the holiday

You can listen to this week's episode of the Football Laces Podcast. It was another loosey goosey episode. Look right and click.

Enjoy the feast of the 7 fishes.

Thursday, December 16, 2010


I'm getting older, you know? I'm at the age where I starting to wonder if Santa Claus is actually real.

Latest episode of football laces is posted. Look to you right and click.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

A Little Bit of History Repeating

So yesterday I heard a report that Governor Patterson of NY is going to allow fracking in NY State. Fracking for those of you who don't know is a process for extracting natural gas from rock. The gas companies pour a punch of water and chemicals into the rock the pressure it causes pushes the natural gas out, which they capture, and sell to us. I might be wrong about this process a bit, but what I'm right about is that it has polluted water supplies in West Virginia and Pennsalvania among other states. There is a documentary out there that shows people being able to light their tap water on fire while it's pouring out of the faucet.

This reminds me of the story I heard about the Mayans. Supposedly, the ancient Mayan civilization had fallen on hard times. Supposedly they had some powerful god who lived in the lake nearby or something like that. So the Mayans tried to appease the god with human sacrifices that they through into the lake. Unfortunately, the lake was also their water supply for their city. The dead bodies polluted the water supply. I just wonder if back then there were a handful of enviromental Mayans complaining about dropping the sacrifices into the drinking water.

"Listen, high priest, we have to throw the virgins somewhere else the water is killing more of then the sacrifices are saving."
"Oh shut up hippie. This is about jobs. We need jobs, we need favor from the gods. We need our fortunes to change."
"I agree things suck but this just making things worse, everyone is throwing up."
"Do you have any proof that it's the water? We just have to kill more virgins and throw more of them in the drinking water."
"Of course I don't have proof. Mankind won't know about bacteria for hundreds of years. But I have to say that the gods probably wouldn't have dead bodies smell so badly if they wanted us to keep them near us after death. Right?"
"I'm the priest here, shut up."
"You shut up you facist."
"At least i'm not a socialist."
"Yeah if you were a socialist you'd care about the water."
"Yes, definitely the Soviet Union had a great environmental record."
"Fuck you priest. They were communists."
"Listen, chicken little it doesn't even matter, because in 2012 time is going to stop."
"But that's like three thousand years from now."
"My point is we're all going to die, we might as well have some fun with virgins."
"We all sacrificing virgins, but is it worth the intestine problems?"
"For you? Probably not. But I'm high priest I can afford bottled water."
"I can't wait for the Spanish to get here."

Yes, I think it went down just like that.

Friday, December 03, 2010

If Only

The sports new media caught Derek Anderson quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals laughing on the sidelines last week during the game where the Cardinal were getting their butts kicked. Derek was pressed about the laughing by reporters after the game. If only the regular news media had the investigative savvy we might not have thought there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. If only the regular media could show the same moxy as their sports brethren and really ask the hard questions and not let their subject off the hook, maybe a banker would be in jail right now. This is why sports is better than real life.

The new football laces is up. Look to your right and click. It is unscripted and probably the worst one, but it's short. Enjoy.

If you're in DC email me. I'm performing there tonight but don't have venue information.