Monday, May 15, 2017

Brer Rabbit or the Republican Party?

My theory is that the Republicans are Brer Rabbiting Democrats and liberals.  For those who don't know who Brer Rabbit is, he's the bunny that invented reverse psychology and got sent to his room to play Xbox all day as punishment for stealing Monsanto seeds from a corporate farmer.  And now it looks like Brer is a major strategist for the Republican party.  

Democrats pass Republican, imperfect, corporate -welfare healthcare plan. Republican carry-on for years how much they hate it, "How could make us pass our own healthcare plan. Oh we hate it so much. It's the absolute worst. I rather be thrown into a brier patch."

Next, they double down on their coy act and try to pass a healthcare plan that is ten times worse then the original one they constructed and got passed.  Which has the rest of the country who really wants single payer but would settle for some fixes on the ACA just begging any politician they can get an email address for to please let us keep the bone you threw us. 

Next, we have FBI director James Comey.  Democrats hate him. Loathe the man, until the President fires Comey so the President can cover up a scandal, which really just Republicans screaming, "No really! Please! Please! Don't throw me into that brier patch" . Now, rumor has it he might be replaced by Chris Christie the least popular governor in the history of US Governors (and some of those Governors have gone to jail.) Democrats are besides themselves. "No, no, no.  Give us back that guy who might have cost our candidate the election. " 

What do you think is going to happen next? The Energy Secretary is going to come out with a plan that we are now going to burn babies and puppies to power our our grid.  People will respond, "No, not the country's cuties! If you're going to burn anything burn coal! Coal burns perfectly well. Babies are too moist, it's so inefficient. 

EPA let's California farms use every last drop of water in the water table so the population has no choice but to beg them to melt the icebergs faster  because we're so parched. 

The treasury department decides to take the tax revenues to Vegas. So that the only response is fine, more Goldman Sachs guys. 

In a reverse of hip hop philosophy. Don't hate the game hate the players. The game is genius. Evilly genius. 

Thursday, May 11, 2017

The Trending Trendy Trenders Foiled Again by the NY Times

The Internet, World Wide.  Thursday the New York Times caused quite a stir in the open marriage community by running a story in the NY Times Magazine about the living arrangement some people have been making for decades.

"Now everyone is going to be Poly," Decried Kevin Sanders of Manhattan.  "How am I supposed to be different, and interesting now that open marriage has been reviewed by the times?" pouted Leslie Stokes of Berkeley, CA.  "No one is going to gossip about me now that they'll all being doing it too," worried Jose Diaz of Columbus, OH.

This isn't the first thing "ruined" by the New York Times reporting on it. Since it's inception as a paper countless restaurants have gone from quiet and enjoyable for those in the know to utterly mobbed with year long waits for reservations.

After the story ran Hamilton (A Broadway musical) saw its ticket sales dip for the first time since the show opened in February 2015.  Meanwhile Rapid Realty reported that clients no longer seemed interested in specifically renting in Brooklyn. Rather couples looking for apartments seemed more curious what agents were doing after.  While membership in polyamorous meet up groups have soared by 78%.  Smith's bar and grill is having Happy Hour for Open Couples Thursdays.

New York's Mayor DeBlasio made a statement on the new trend, "I think this new open marriage trend could do a lot to ease our city's affordable housing shortage and our male shortage in this city. If wives are willing to share their husbands that might really go a long way in helping single, heterosexual women get some."

It's hard to predict how long this trend will last as trend data is all over the place, but some original open marriagers, like Phyllis Caso, are not bothering to wait out the trend storm, "Forget it. I'm going back to a closed monogamy and just going crab grassatarian."

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

We Are Not Bots, Yet

Yesterday, I was told by a business associate who is a big muckity muck at Viacom, that I needed a LinkedIn profile if I wanted to find a job.  I mention her muckity muck status in hopes that I will be looked on as someone you want to associate with because I know successful people. Successful people working for companies you have heard of.  She told me what HR people had told her, “First, thing we do is check to see if you have a LinkedIn profile to make sure you’re not a bot.”  I responded to this information with a question, “Why are bots applying for jobs? What’s the angle?”  Though associate is brilliant and has a master’s degree, she was stumped for an answer. 
I slept on the question. I woke up this morning and set-up a LinkedIn profile. That’s when it occurred to me - LinkedIn must be the ones using bots to apply to jobs, thereby making their product useful.  I must admit I have a similar theory about Norton Anti-Virus and their relation to the creation of computer viruses. Sure, it’s the information age, but somehow it still feels like the 1920s Little Italy and a protection racket.   Honestly, people were able to network and find jobs without LinkedIn for all of human history.  Unlike, other technological advances (the wheel, stone tools, electricity,
computers in general, etc.) social media in all its iterations has not made socializing and networking easier. In fact, it has muddied it.  Networking used to be designated to after work drinks, conferences, and conventions, now you do it in your cube (or open office space) while you are being paid to work.  The other social media platforms have helped water down the word friend. It used to mean a person you know and could count and who could count on you. If it turned out you couldn’t count on them, you’d be mad and hurt and possibly stop talking to them. Now, a friend is a digital prop people use to help brand themselves.
But social media not adding to the productivity or workers is not the real problem. The problem is that we are declaring we are not bots. Which in 2017 is fine and supposedly helpful. But what happens when Artificial Intelligence comes into its own?  When AI is running the HR department?  Then won’t I want to possibly pretend I am in fact a bot? Curry favor with our computer overlords? Or at minimum keep the AI guessing if I am a human or one them. 

Perhaps, we all be part bot in 20 years, with a memory drive attached to our brain stem.  We might all be a sleeker more stylish version of Robot Cop. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m a little uncomfortable about branding myself a human and not a bot. Because we all know what we put on the internet never dies, and the future is unknowable. Committing now to human might be beneficial in the short term, but could be disastrous in the long term.