Tuesday, April 05, 2011

I Get It!

So for years I've been very against these wars in the Middle East. It's clear they are for oil. I don't care about oil. I have a bike, I have two working feet. Granted without oil I couldn't travel internationally or across the country, but I have Netflix and 8 seasons of Monk I can stream for years and year of enrichment and enjoyment. We have plenty of coal and natural gas right here in the USA to keep my computer and wireless router running for as long as need to stream Netflix videos.

That was my mind set. I thought only evil sociopaths like Dick Cheney were for oil wars. I couldn't sympathize with these war hawks. But then everything went nuts in the Ivory Coast. The chocolate supply chain has been ruptured. Chocolate prices will soon reach record heights. Why did it take the UN so long to go in and stabilize the region. People were suffering. A man refused to acknowledge he lost re-election. And I need my chocolate at affordable prices.

I figure if we can spend billions of dollars to keep oil prices down why can't we spend billions to free chocolate producing countries from tyranny as well? Women everywhere will be grateful.

Monday, April 04, 2011

Kids Don't Do It!

No today's blog title is not missing a comma.

Listen folks if you are the fence about whether or not to have children show yourself some tough love. Find a movie theater showing "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" the sequel and go watch it. If after sitting through that movie you think you still want kids, now with the knowledge of what kind of movies you'll be spending top dollar to sit through year after preteen year, then you never were really on the fence about kids at all. And may I suggest becoming Amish.

As for the rest of you. You are welcome. Having kids isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's filled with plot-less movies with bad acting and bad cinematography. I never knew I could notice the way a movie was shot. Let that movie be a lesson to you.