Thursday, November 13, 2014

How Things Came to be: Gendered Division of Labor

 

   In many parts of the world women make less money than men either for the same job, or because they can't get the good paying, really evil jobs due to gender discrimination. Meanwhile, men are ridiculed if they wear skirts or dresses despite the fact that their genitalia would probably be so much more happy swinging free and easy in a flowing dress instead of scrunched up in jeans or suit pants. Why do you think Buddhist monks seem so at peace? It's the robes. 

     How did we get here?

     It all started with a guy named Donnie[1].  He was a big, strong, young man. People in his clan thought that he was a douche[2].  The women wanted nothing to do with him sexually. It's unclear why they found him so repulsive  by all accounts he was very strong and tall, relative to surrounding people. Socio-biologist [3]would hypothesize that all the women would be pulling each other's hair out just to get some of Donnie's genetic material. This clearly wasn't the case. Some historians believe  one of the reasons no one wanted to sleep with Donnie was because he was horribly self involved. He never asked women any questions about themselves. He would just drone on and on about how many logs he could carry at once. (Side note: historians also think Donnie might have had a hand in the deforestation of Mesopotamia.) He was also rumored to have kicked kids and kittens--not cool Donnie.
            So no one would sleep with Donnie and Donnie had needs. So Donnie came up with a plan. He proposed that women be forbidden to hunt, or farm or do anything but raise babies and clean plates. The only way women would have access to food is if she got a man to give her some. Men thought this was a horrible idea.
"Donnie, you mean then we have to do all the work all year long? No way."
"They slow us down. They can't carry as many logs as me."
"No one can carry as many logs as you, Donnie." Cried the clan.
"Women also get pregnant and then don't work for a couple of months before and after the baby and we all do just fine."
"But that's only one or two women at a time not all the women. It's like when someone gets sick we pick up the slack for one person for a week or so. We don't all get sick on the same day."[4]
Donnie left the meeting dejected. A few months later Gary[5] fell in love with Gertrude. Gary was handsome and smart and lots of women were interested in him, but of course Gary only wanted the lady who didn't want him. It's too bad these early settled people didn't live longer they might have out grown some of this psychology. As he was sulking under a fig tree he remembered Donnie's hare-brained plan and figured with a different spin he could sell it the clan and force Gertrude to love him.
"We have a problem here in our clan.. Our children are not getting the proper education they need because too many of us our busy with our farming tasks, I give you Donnie as proof of how far our community as deteriorated. "
"That's true he is kind of log[6] head."
"So let's divide up the word so we can make sure it all gets done. One idea, we could say is that the women stay home and make sure our children don't become log heads."
One woman piped up and said, "But I'm on the verge of breeding edible almonds. This is going to be awesome for us a great source of protein, easily stored, easy to carry on raiding missions."
Gary responded, "Exactly, That's the kind of person who needs to be spending time with our kids making them smart."  He was a slick one that Gary.
One of the men quipped, "But then we have to do all the work,  but the teaching. This sounds like Donnie's plan from last year."
Gary had an answer, "Not quite. You wouldn't be required to get up in the middle of the night when the baby is crying that would just be the women who are in charge of the kids."
"Wait. WHAT!" the women screamed.
"Hold on let the man speak," the men retorted because when you have to wake up at dawn to farm every day no one wants to have to go tend to a crying baby in the middle of the night.
Then Gary stated the pink elephant in the room. "You know we are stronger than you. "
The women could have revolted by killing the men in their sleep and restoring the balance of power in their community, but sadly those women had trouble staying up past when the men went to bed due to the interruption of their sleep cycle by the crying newborns they were forced to attend to by themselves. Of course Donnie and Gary never foresaw that men would have to mine coal one day while the women remained black lung free trapped in their homes.



[1] Donnie  it's what his name translates to from ancient Babylonian.
[2] They didn't actually call him a douche because that product didn't exist 10,000 years ago. They called him something that loosely translates to "hole away from water supply where we rid our bodies of waste." Which is what we now in the US call a toilet. We don't call people toilets today in the western world to insult them so I'm just going to go with douche. 
[3] Socio-biologist the modern day astrologist, so much math so little facts.
[4] Of course that last sentiment isn't always true sometimes they do all get sick at the same time, it's called a plague and it usually wipes a society.
[5] Again translated from Babylonian.
[6][6] Later this would turn into lug head.


   In many parts of the world women make less money than men either for the same job, or because they can't get the good paying, really evil jobs due to gender discrimination. Meanwhile, men are ridiculed if they wear skirts or dresses despite the fact that their genitalia would probably be so much more happy swinging free and easy in a flowing dress instead of scrunched up in jeans or suit pants. Why do you think Buddhist monks seem so at peace? It's the robes. 

     How did we get here?

     It all started with a guy named Donnie[1].  He was a big, strong, young man. People in his clan thought that he was a douche[2].  The women wanted nothing to do with him sexually. It's unclear why they found him so repulsive  by all accounts he was very strong and tall, relative to surrounding people. Socio-biologist [3]would hypothesize that all the women would be pulling each other's hair out just to get some of Donnie's genetic material. This clearly wasn't the case. Some historians believe  one of the reasons no one wanted to sleep with Donnie was because he was horribly self involved. He never asked women any questions about themselves. He would just drone on and on about how many logs he could carry at once. (Side note: historians also think Donnie might have had a hand in the deforestation of Mesopotamia.) He was also rumored to have kicked kids and kittens--not cool Donnie.
            So no one would sleep with Donnie and Donnie had needs. So Donnie came up with a plan. He proposed that women be forbidden to hunt, or farm or do anything but raise babies and clean plates. The only way women would have access to food is if she got a man to give her some. Men thought this was a horrible idea.
"Donnie, you mean then we have to do all the work all year long? No way."
"They slow us down. They can't carry as many logs as me."
"No one can carry as many logs as you, Donnie." Cried the clan.
"Women also get pregnant and then don't work for a couple of months before and after the baby and we all do just fine."
"But that's only one or two women at a time not all the women. It's like when someone gets sick we pick up the slack for one person for a week or so. We don't all get sick on the same day."[4]
Donnie left the meeting dejected. A few months later Gary[5] fell in love with Gertrude. Gary was handsome and smart and lots of women were interested in him, but of course Gary only wanted the lady who didn't want him. It's too bad these early settled people didn't live longer they might have out grown some of this psychology. As he was sulking under a fig tree he remembered Donnie's hare-brained plan and figured with a different spin he could sell it the clan and force Gertrude to love him.
"We have a problem here in our clan.. Our children are not getting the proper education they need because too many of us our busy with our farming tasks, I give you Donnie as proof of how far our community as deteriorated. "
"That's true he is kind of log[6] head."
"So let's divide up the word so we can make sure it all gets done. One idea, we could say is that the women stay home and make sure our children don't become log heads."
One woman piped up and said, "But I'm on the verge of breeding edible almonds. This is going to be awesome for us a great source of protein, easily stored, easy to carry on raiding missions."
Gary responded, "Exactly, That's the kind of person who needs to be spending time with our kids making them smart."  He was a slick one that Gary.
One of the men quipped, "But then we have to do all the work,  but the teaching. This sounds like Donnie's plan from last year."
Gary had an answer, "Not quite. You wouldn't be required to get up in the middle of the night when the baby is crying that would just be the women who are in charge of the kids."
"Wait. WHAT!" the women screamed.
"Hold on let the man speak," the men retorted because when you have to wake up at dawn to farm every day no one wants to have to go tend to a crying baby in the middle of the night.
Then Gary stated the pink elephant in the room. "You know we are stronger than you. "
The women could have revolted by killing the men in their sleep and restoring the balance of power in their community, but sadly those women had trouble staying up past when the men went to bed due to the interruption of their sleep cycle by the crying newborns they were forced to attend to by themselves. Of course Donnie and Gary never foresaw that men would have to mine coal one day while the women remained black lung free trapped in their homes.



[1] Donnie  it's what his name translates to from ancient Babylonian.
[2] They didn't actually call him a douche because that product didn't exist 10,000 years ago. They called him something that loosely translates to "hole away from water supply where we rid our bodies of waste." Which is what we now in the US call a toilet. We don't call people toilets today in the western world to insult them so I'm just going to go with douche. 
[3] Socio-biologist the modern day astrologist, so much math so little facts.
[4] Of course that last sentiment isn't always true sometimes they do all get sick at the same time, it's called a plague and it usually wipes a society.
[5] Again translated from Babylonian.
[6][6] Later this would turn into lug head.



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