I went to a family bar-b-que on Saturday. Members of my extended family asked, "You come up here to get material?" To which I answered, "No, I came for the free food, booze, and hopefully for some left overs to take home."
I have to say my family thinks pretty high of themselves to think they're material worthy. I'll tell you this they haven't done anything joke worthy since they put a picture of a sonagram on a cake and asked us all to eat the cake. Sure visiting aunt came close to making the act when she got mad at her mother for claiming that her dog was not a person. My aunt fumed with indignation, and stormed off because the fact is her dog is a person. Sure that's ridiculous but is there a punchline to be found in that story? Is there a punchline to be found in the story that my aunt wouldn't admit to her age at a party full of people who are related to her some of who remember her birth.
You know what guys, if you want to be in this kid's act you better start actually putting effort in. I need more than not being able to properly classify species of animals. And no it's not enough to be an alcoholic these days. Alcoholism is so passe. May I suggest if you really want to be part of the act at the next family gathering you sit me down and give me some life advice. Or even better comedy career advice. Because telling me it doesn't matter if my romantic relationship works out, "We're just glad you brought him and shared your life with us a little," is just a little too supportive and loving. And there is nothing funny about that.
yeah, I know. the title isn'r really relevant to the content