We Don't Need Homeland Security

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a cautious person. I have to be because I pay attention to what others ignore. I know that death is around every corner and that three deadbolts on my front door is not nearly enough to keep the killers at bay. That's why I am embarking on the "Dolphin Project."

For those that don't know dolphins avoid drowning during sleep by only sleeping half their brain at a time. One hemisphere is a sleep while the other keeps the water mammal breathing oxygen from the air. I too would like to avoid death while I sleep. This is why I keep a big stick next to my bed. But what good is a big stick that isn't used in a moment of crisis due to a sleeping victim? My new goal is to be the first human to sleep half a brain hemisphere at time.

Criminals beware!