Thursday, September 09, 2010

If I Knew Book Burning Was So Popular I Would Have Done it Years Ago.

Some untalented hack down in Florida is getting national press. I even know his name Pastor Jones. The country can't stop talking about him and he hasn't even done anything yet. He plans to burn the Koran. Why does anyone care? I have spent 8 years doing comedy, working hard, writing jokes, rewriting jokes, begging for stage time, suffering through open mics, making tapes of my set, sending out press kits, producing shows and worst of all schmoozing. This yahoo comes along and in days the country knows all about his act, which he hasn't even performed yet.

Who is this man's publicist? How much does this publicist cost? Is it about insulting people? I do that all the time. I wrote a song and made a music video called "Punch a Banker in the Face." Not one word from the press. Not one banker made a death threat or went whining to the media or the cops or to some politician they own. Should I have written the song "Burn a Banker in the Face?" How hard is it to burn a book?  Any asshole can do that. I had to learn how to use Logic Pro to record my song. I had to organize a group of people to come over to my apartment to record the song. This is NYC do you know what people's schedules are like? You can cram a book burning in between back to back Law and Order episodes.  Plus, you don't have to buy anyone beer.
Meanwhile, after i recorded the song I then had to schedule other people to come and be in the video and help me shoot the video. I don't have budget.

And for all my hard work what has it gotten me? I get to perform in the Village tonight for two maybe three of my relatives. If I just went to Roshashana dinner I could have performed for more of them and gotten dinner. So if you're not busy, but of course you are, I'll be at the Zinc Bar on w. 3rd street at 8pm tonight. If that doesn't interest you what if I promise to burn the by laws of Goldman Sachs while I'm on stage. Hey that has to violate a fire code or something. Did I mention I'm a minister?

Oh and I'm sure the Rev Jones doesn't proof read either.

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