Labor Day Traditions

Yesterday, I spent my Labor Day in the traditional manner. I woke up around noon and went down to an exclusive country club, where I captured me one of those big wig, fat cat CEOs. I always hope to get an owner of a coal mine or a big investment bank, but those devils are slippery and you have to take what you can get--similar to a job, a guess. After I get a CEO I drag him/her on down to the arts center where the kids are waiting for me for their Labor Day fun arts project. Some years we bronze our trophy. Some years we just build a canoe and tie him/her to the mast and set sail on the nearest body of water. Tying a human being to a mast of canoe teaches children all types of science and math lessons. Canoes don't normally have masts, and if they were to have a mast they don't normally have the added weight of grown human tied to it. Therefore, design is important. But most years we just have the children cover the captive in paper mache`. The kids love painting the business tycoon in fabulous colors. Then we bring him/her down to the AFL-CIO Labor Day Picnic and let the union guys and gals have fun with the humongous pinata. The funniest part is when a person falls out of the pinata instead of candy and the laborers have this horrible look of disappointment on their faces. But, before they can start picketing the kids and I start handing out beers and Hershey bars.

Ah yes, Labor Day is so much fun. I love America!