Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Big Day. Did You Do Your Part?

It's a big day. It's election day. Now, if you don't like your choices at the polls this year, there is an alternative. For this to work you have to think of the big picture and be ready to realize your dreams years, even decades down the line.

You see today is not only election day but it is the 2nd day after Halloween. Stop into any of your box stores or regular grocery stores and see the huge discounts on bags of candy. This is your first step, stock pile the candy and low low prices. Next, use your home computer (or go to the library if you don't have a computer and your town still has a library) and google search the names of investment bankers, CEO's of evil doing companies, and other nefarious peoples. In your research determine where their offspring go to prep school. Then, wait outside there school and shovel candy into them. Try to get the kids to eat the candy in front of you, as much as they can stomach. Do not let them resell the candy to impoverished children in proximate neighborhoods. Try to ruin the prep school kids dinner. Make them too full to consume vegetables. You must do this everyday of the school year. The point is to ruin their teeth so they won't be attractive enough to be elected or possibly procreate in years to come. Also consuming massive amounts of candy day in and day out for 180 days or so should produce enough health problems that these kids won't be able to run a evil doing investment bank or company. If you die at 33 of hypertension or a heart attack or some diabetic related illness. It's hard to buy and sell politicians when you're dead or in the hospital.

Now is this plan harder than voting? Of course. Does it take more time in your life than voting once a year? Most definitely. But ask yourself this, "Do I have a job? What am I doing with my time?" You could be a superhero and save the world. You could be High Fructose Corn Syrup Man (or Woman) fighting corporate crime one future generation at a time.

Go get 'em America.

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