Friday, June 20, 2008

Fuel Prices Being What They Are

You're thinking to yourselves, "Inflation is a bitch. AND!!! I can't believe I booked a trip overseas for the end of this summer when the dollar is so weak. The economy is taking a nose dive, I can't find steady work. How the hell am I going to pay for my UK vacation in this economic climate?"

I'm not going to lie to you. You're pretty much fucked. But I have two possible long shots for you to come up with the money for your ill-advised trip.

Option 1: Remember that dude you dated years ago? Like nearly 10 years ago? Remember how you thought maybe he was privie to a trust fund? Yeah. Good. Well, here's what you have to do. You have to go find him (and you're a stalker so it shouldn't be too difficult), break-up his marriage and get him to love you enough to send you abroad. He has the funds, and let's face it his wife doesn't really love him. She married him because her clock was ticking and he could support a child. Hell, Jesse said it all 10 years ago after you broke up and suspected he was dating someone else, "Who would date him? Uhhh. I mean... besides you."

Option 2: That crazy, baron, never-been-married sibling of your mom. That sibling unfortunately sees alot of you in him/her and that's why you're in the will. Hopefully you're still in the will and you didn't get written out recently due to your "charisma" aka argumentive, combative conversational style. Maybe, just maybe if you pray hard enough not only will you still be in the will, perhaps The Will will go into probate before your jet departs. Take that God awful diet your mom's elder sibbling ingests on a daily basis and push it over the edge into cardiac arrest by sending a lovely, extra-fat-added cheesecake.

Option 3: I guess you're going into debt.

1 comment:

Rob said...

I do believe you just called me charismatic. Ha-HA!