The Devil and Pork
Even a comedic genius such as myself has bad sets. Like tonight. Ugh! But if I learned anything from my three and half years of inconsistently funny stand-up comedy it's that I can always sell my soul to the devil in exchange for the funny. All he has to do is offer. Why won't he offer?
-------
Did I ever tell you guys the time my friend Anna sent a fellow folk singer she had been seeing a ham after he broke up with her? "Anna, why did you send him a ham?"
"Because I wanted him to know he could take back his break up."
Nothing says I'll let it slide like dead pig. It worked. He then knew he could take it all back. Turns out he didn't want to.
"But why a ham, Anna?"
"He likes pork chops."
"But you didn't send him pork chops."
'Well, the florist didn't have pork chops. It was the next best thing."
"Why wouldn't you call a butcher?"
"Butchers don't have cards to send with their meat."
-------
Did I ever tell you guys the time my friend Anna sent a fellow folk singer she had been seeing a ham after he broke up with her? "Anna, why did you send him a ham?"
"Because I wanted him to know he could take back his break up."
Nothing says I'll let it slide like dead pig. It worked. He then knew he could take it all back. Turns out he didn't want to.
"But why a ham, Anna?"
"He likes pork chops."
"But you didn't send him pork chops."
'Well, the florist didn't have pork chops. It was the next best thing."
"Why wouldn't you call a butcher?"
"Butchers don't have cards to send with their meat."
Comments