Crime Wave: It Will Be Televised
The Man says he’s keeping us safe with his surveillance cameras. The Man tells us the cameras will reduce crime. He tells us that because The Man is voyeuristic pervert who wants to watch all that we do. I think the Man gets off on it. Well, I’m here to tell you my brothers and sisters these cameras will not reduce crime. In fact, I contend the placement of surveillance cameras will increase crime.
In the age of “American Idol,” “ Last Comic Standing,” and that show where we choose the next star of Grease the Musical it seems Americans want their "15 minutes" of fame. Americans want their lives validated and for many of them having children just did fulfill them like they hoped. What are these people to do? They could stand in long lines hoping to audition for Simon. But what happens when their audition isn’t aired? Or worse yet, what happens after standing in line for “Last Comic Standing” for twenty hours only to be told to go home before you even get to audition? Americans are not ones to be stopped. We are a crafty lot. We want to be on TV and if that means having to commit crimes in front of surveillance cameras then that’s what we are going to do. Want-to-be comedians will plan a string of robberies, all of which will contain pratt-falls, Village People styled outfits, and cream pies to the face. The Broadway dreamers will plee-aye (I can’t spell French. I’m doing this one phonetically.) from one mugging to the next.
I don’t think our new generation of criminals only consists of those with a reality television dream in their hearts. I think crimes will also be perpetrated by under-funded would-be film makers. Kids who can’t afford digital cameras will turn to surveillance cameras to make their film shorts. These thrifty artists will stage scene after silent scene in front of warehouse garages. Once shooting is complete our auters will break into these warehouses in order to steal the footage. For their sakes they hopefully get caught breaking and entering, which would give them free primetime publicity on the evening news, which would lead to thousands upon thousands of youtube views, which would lead to a deal with HBO.
If you want crime to go down people, take down the Orwellian cameras, it's only going to entice the attention starved populace to commit crimes and get their faces on TV. Save America take down the cameras before your neighborhood is the next one to be victimized by these crazed domestic terrorists.
In the age of “American Idol,” “ Last Comic Standing,” and that show where we choose the next star of Grease the Musical it seems Americans want their "15 minutes" of fame. Americans want their lives validated and for many of them having children just did fulfill them like they hoped. What are these people to do? They could stand in long lines hoping to audition for Simon. But what happens when their audition isn’t aired? Or worse yet, what happens after standing in line for “Last Comic Standing” for twenty hours only to be told to go home before you even get to audition? Americans are not ones to be stopped. We are a crafty lot. We want to be on TV and if that means having to commit crimes in front of surveillance cameras then that’s what we are going to do. Want-to-be comedians will plan a string of robberies, all of which will contain pratt-falls, Village People styled outfits, and cream pies to the face. The Broadway dreamers will plee-aye (I can’t spell French. I’m doing this one phonetically.) from one mugging to the next.
I don’t think our new generation of criminals only consists of those with a reality television dream in their hearts. I think crimes will also be perpetrated by under-funded would-be film makers. Kids who can’t afford digital cameras will turn to surveillance cameras to make their film shorts. These thrifty artists will stage scene after silent scene in front of warehouse garages. Once shooting is complete our auters will break into these warehouses in order to steal the footage. For their sakes they hopefully get caught breaking and entering, which would give them free primetime publicity on the evening news, which would lead to thousands upon thousands of youtube views, which would lead to a deal with HBO.
If you want crime to go down people, take down the Orwellian cameras, it's only going to entice the attention starved populace to commit crimes and get their faces on TV. Save America take down the cameras before your neighborhood is the next one to be victimized by these crazed domestic terrorists.
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