Tuesday, May 06, 2008

80s Comedy Today

That's right I'm going to discuss airplane travel just like the comedians of the 1980s did day in and day out.

After flying to Orlando and back I would like to suggest something to American airports to speed up the airport security lines. Airport security should profile. If the passengers are American born and bread and are under the age of 40 let them go through security unchecked. Do not make us remove our shoes or put our bags through a screener. Why? Because my generation's apathy runs deep. We aren't so much from the school of "doers." Unless you're talking about video games, weed, and booze. In all honesty we are lucky we were able to get our act together to book our plane ticket. Not only did we have to committ to a social engagement such as vacation we had to have room on our almost maxxed out credit cards. Making us take off our shoes is ridiculous. First off, it's a taxxing physical and emotional burden for the younger people of this nation. Secondly, we didn't make a shoe bomb. There is no way we were going to rip ourselves away from "Rock of Love" long enough to learn mini explosives. The liquids in our toiletry bag are completely harmless, well if you're not counting the cancer they cause (but that's not our fault we didn't invent the stuff), we never paid attention in chemistry class. My generation and the ones that have failed again and again on standardized science tests. If you want to confiscate someone's shampoo try that european dude or that 5 year old Japanese child. But for the love of god, just let us get to our gate unempeded we have 5000 songs on our ipod and they are not going to listen to themselves.

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