Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Get the Whole Story

A comedy acquantance quoted me in an article/blogpost she wrote for mtv.com regarding abortion rights and this year's presidential election. You can read it here. She quoted one sentence out of paragraphs of content she dragged out of me. I'd like to share with you some of the other content not used her mtv.com piece.

Sara asked: To what extent does a candidate's stance on abortion affect your opinion of him/her? Why?

Rachael responded:
If a candidate is anti-choice and/or wants to sign off on legislation that restricts a person's right to choose I don't see myself voting for that candidate. However, it doesn't make me a one issue voter. Usually candidates that are pro-choice agree with me on other issues. It's not like someone is going to be Pro-Choice and then be for killing all the manatees.

I am pro-choice for two main reasons I don't want children and I hate condoms. Condoms chafe and they're made in Southeast Asia, meaning condoms probably made in sweatshops by children. I can't support child labor. Meanwhile, I don't think I could be on the birthcontrol pill because I can't swallow pills. However, even if birth control came in liquid like children's advil I have a fear of taking hormones--how much crazier can I afford to get? The best idea to avoid pregnancy is to sleep with men who don't cum. Whether it's a Budhist Tantric thing, Catholic guilt thing, or an anti-depressant thing it's probably a girl's best bet. (Yes, that's right it's not just women who have problems with orgasming) Though, that isn't always an option or sometimes one of the non-ejaculating dudes might surprise you and himself. I hope "the state" doesn't compound that oopsy by making me have a baby for three reasons. I don't have money to raise one, I'm very self involved and the world is going to shit. Why should I bring a child into a polluted, melting pot on the verge of nuclear anhilation? Some people will argue that if I'm not ready for a baby then I shouldn't be having sex. That would only be true if abortion didn't exist. Right? I'll never be ready for a baby but I should have sex. WebMD said there were at least 10 health benefits to having sex. A baby was not listened among those benefits. People who are not having sex or seeking to have sex come in two types: religious zealots or a people with a gun in their mouthes.

So why do I believe in abortion rights because I think irresponsible, broke-ass artists should be allowed to have sex just like the bourgeois, but without ruining a life by birthing it unlike the bourgeois.


Yeah mabye I shouldn't play church groups.

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