I'm Big Time Now

I walked into my local bank branch with my bank statement in hand. I went up to bank teller and asked to see the manager because I have a problem with my statement. The manager came out to talk to me. I told her I'm not paying ATM fees anymore. Take it off my statement and reimberse me my money. "No," she said. I'm part owner of this bank now. And we're going to have some changes around here. No more ATM charges when I use an ATM machine not affiliated with this bank. No more minimum balances. And hey if I overdraft, just take the difference out of the tax money I've already given you. I'm running things now.

Then I called up citibank who administers my credit card. I told them I'll pay credit card bill when I went and you won't be charging me. In fact. I think I'm paid up for the rest of my life. There is no way I'll charge 100 billion dollars on this thing. Let's call it even. Otherwise I'm taking my tax money back.