Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Scattological and Little Gross

"Where did the chicken go?" I asked Saturday afternoon.
'What chicken?" questioned back my boyfriend Jack.
'"The chicken I ate Thursday night."
"Well, you ate it."
"Yes, but it's not in the toilet?"

Things went down in my body 3:30am Thursday morning leading me not eat anything for the rest of the day as a precautionary measure. I finally ate after sundown Thursday night. But then there was no evidence that I had eaten.

On Sunday there still was no evidence and I convinced myself I must be constipated. 8 bowls of fiber 1 later I realized, maybe I overestimated my shit. I mean the whole reason we eat is to ingest calories and nutrients our bodies need to function. So, it figures that most of the chicken should be processed and not found in my bowels.

Why wasn't this ever covered in health class or biology? They spend all this time on sex education. What is there to teach in that area? Don't have a sex orif you do use a condom. If things down there change color, itch, or burn see a doctor take meds. If you stop getting your period see a doctor. Class over. You think they could have spent a day teaching us the percentage of the food we eat that turns into waste both solid and liquid. People suffer from digestive mishaps for more often then they suffer from STD's and pregancy. In fact pregancy can cause digestive mishaps. I know that from health class, what do about the digestive problems if one is pregnant. I have no idea. They never tell you that in public school.

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