Thursday, March 26, 2009

Yeah I've been Watching TV

Yesterday Oprah had on her doctor dude, Dr. Oz. My boyfriend thought he Dr. Oz must have had plastic surgery as his eyebrows had a look of constant surprise. I said, "I think that's just how his face is naturally. You can see he forward crinkle up when he talks which indicates a lack of 'work' done."

That's all besides the point. Dr. Oz was on Oprah yesterday to give us all tips on how to live longer. Not like months longer but decades. "Here's how you can live to 120 years of age." Really? What would I do with those extra 20 years? Continue to not work on my book I've been talking about for a year and half now. For 20 more years I'll be too broke to go to Peru. Perhaps by the time I'm 120 I'll finally learn my lesson and not drink until I'm hung over once every three months.

I realized I had nothing to worry about because I would never find the discipline to partake in any of the suggested activities. And I know that I'm actually too lazy to even find the time to lie in some oxygen chamber thing that pushes oxygen through your skin to your cells. And even if I were disciplined enough to lie in the oxygen chamber everyday, where would I get one? I'd have to win the lottery. If I won the lottery I'd probably just go to Peru and then maybe New Zealand (depending on how much I won in the lottery and the value of the dollar at the time.)

But I ask you, why does Oprah want to live until she's 120? She is already one of the richest people in the world. What has she done since amassing this great wealth? She continues do to the Oprah Winfrey Show. Why doesn't Oprah take a long vacation with Gail to Peru? Or become a recording artist. Do my great grand kids really need original episodes of Oprah's talk show? And what about her audience? Do they need the extra decades to catch-up on Oprah's suggested reading list. Let me tell you, people, you'll never catch up as long as she's living as long as you are.

I guess when you're a billionare amassing more money is kind of a bore. You have to set your sights on something more difficult to attain like years extra years of life.

1 comment:

Christina said...

What the fuck is the point of living until 120? Most people don't have 2200 acres and a Dole plantation to frolick around on nor do they want to eat a bowl of berries for breakfast. What happened to the high protein breakfast she was raving about a few weeks ago? Which is it, Oprah? Hmmm? That is all.