Monday, January 04, 2010

Regressing back to Two Years of Age

There are a couple of popular books out there right now. How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty and The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say No and Mean It and Stop People Pleasing.

Uh Oh! I think us self-centered takers are in a little bit of trouble. The givers are getting pissed, they feel tread upon, and they're buying self-help books. Next thing you know they're going to be as unhelpful as the rest of us. That is not good. If they start saying no, who is going to give us rides anywhere? Who is going lend us money? Come to our shows? Watch our kids for free? Listen to our problems? Ahhhhh!

Drastic measures might have to be taken. We might have to start saying, "Yes" even, (gasp) when it's inconvenient to us. You know these suckers who are so giving and self-sacrificing don't do it to give anything back. These fools think that what we were taught as children about cooperating and being nice and helping a friend or family member when you can, they think that bullshit is all true. So color them so surprised when all of sudden they find themselves in need of help and all the people they did a favor for here and there along the way, don't have time to help. I can only imagine they feel a little despondent and unloved. The more times we all say, "No" to them the more it grates until they feel foolish and start buying stupid books.

So here's the plan. To keep our mothers and needy friends to keep holding our hair from falling into the toilet when we've imbibed too much we need to say "yes" a couple of times a year when they ask, otherwise, the jig is up, we'll have to actually start paying people to do shit for us like socialize and hang out.

No comments: