Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Slashed Prices

The United State of America has hit some hard times. Many of it's citizen's are out of work, the country on as a whole has mounting debt. Killer, crushing debt and a brand name that boils the blood of many at it's mention. What to do?

Luckily I have a solution. Let's go out of business. Just as so many debt ridden institutions have done before us. We'll hold a fire sale selling many of our assets like Citi Bank stock. Let's see how those losers fare when they're being run by crazy, Russian Oligarchs. We'll disband and out of the ashes we'll come a new democratic nation, The United Regions Near the Former New Jersey (URNFNJ for short).

This going out of business idea not only solves our debt problem. It also solves our terrorist problem.

"I'm going to destroy the United States."

"Well, crazy terrorist, that seems unfair what did Mexico every do to you."

"Not Mexico, you rube, USA."

"I'm the rube? Well, sonny boy, the USA went our of business they no longer exist."

"Bullshit."

"Dude, you don't believe me just ask China."

"China?"

"Yeah, they're not doing so well, now that the USA went our business. They got left holding all these promissary notes. Ooops."

"Ahh! What is the purpose of my death? The USA has done it again!"

"Maybe you should try living. How about start on reforesting the dessert."

"Whatever. Maybe I'll go blow up China."

"Hey, whatever floats your boat."

Long live the United Regions of Near the Former New Jersey!

U - R- N- F- N- J U - R- N- F- N- J U - R- N- F- N- J U - R- N- F- N- J

Yay!!!

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