What's in a Name?

Good news everyone. Alleged sexual assualtist, Ben Rothlesberger, is not a Jew. His name would make a person think, perhaps Jewish as would his coloring, however, according to wikipedia he is of Scandinavian descent. The Scandinavian can handle a scandal right now. The worst thing they've done, recently, is host a volcano, whose dust cloud shut down Northern Europe's airspace. Yes, inconvenient and costly, but not really the Scandinavians fault. Meanwhile, the Jewish people are still trying to live down Bernie Madoff. So they do not need Ben Rothlesberger on their team and thankfully he's not. Ike Davis, the new Met 1st baseman, is a Jew. Not only is he hitting a ton his first week in the majors, he has yet to be publicly accused of sexual misconduct. Go Ike!

I'd also like to point out Ben Rothlesberger is not a woman. Some might find this observation to be obvious as he is a professional football player, however, with the way he allegedly treats women, one might think he's a woman himself (herself?). As we all know no one is worse to a woman than another woman. Granted, women don't usually wip out their penises infront of other women, but we sure can make each other cry. And right now the last thing women-folk need is some bad publicity. I mean how will ever get paid equal pay for equal work? We won't if Ben Rothlesberger is one of us and I'm so glad he isn't.