Thursday, April 13, 2006

Happy Passover

Passover is great because parking rules are suspended for an entire week. Take that Easter! Oh wait I celebrate that holiday too.

Anyway, let's raise a class of Manechevitz to Moses. For if Moses didn't free the Jews from bondage (sounds sexy) I would have had to move my car today. Go Moses!

That's the thing about New York. Supposedly you have to move your car so they can clean the streets, but the streets are still filthy. Meanwhile, in Portland, OR they had no street cleaning parking rules and the streets were nearly spotless. Hmm?
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Last night I had a feeling of unease all evening. I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Then I realized it was passover and I had no lamb's blood on me to signal the ghost of death to pass on by--because I'm the first born. I'm the only born. Someone told me not to fret it's the first born son. That didn't help, I'm a tom boy and maybe Yaweh has embraced feminism-- you know equal pay for equal work and equal death for equal birth order.

My mother invited me to a seder. I told her to shove it. Instead I choose to perform at a soul sucking late night open mic. That's how much I hate Jews.

3 comments:

nicole said...

How could you deny yourself of horseradish and parsley? *n

Carolyn said...

You are such an asstard.

I love horseradish.

Some of us would kill to be Jews, you know.

Well, not kill, cuz then we'd go to hell, per your post.

Ah, fuck it. You know what I mean.

rachael said...

carolyn, You are the daughter my mother never had. She was very angered by this post. That and you wear dresses and make-up, get married and have children. She would love it if you were jewish.