Is It Not Too Late For Write-Ins?

This is usually the point in the football season where I lament the performance of beloved Giants. This year however, the Big Blue is actually doing well. And then it occurred to me...

With less than a week before Election Day I would like urge you all to write in Tom Coughlin head coach of the New York Football Giants for President of the United States.

I'll just list reasons.

  1. He's a leader of men. OK a coach of men, but very similar.
  2. He believes in rules and discipline and if you don't follow those rules you don't get to play and you get fined. Just ask his lead wide receiver.
  3. He's a winner. Unlike other presidents who have been involved in professional sports Tom Coughlin has a winning record.
  4. He is a beacon of change. He took a ragtag team of millionares and six figure earners and made them Super Bowl Champions.
  5. He's so good at change he even changed himself. He took his frown and turned it upside down. He realized his players weren't responding to his dickish attitude he got a little friendlier. Not as placid as Obama but not as dickish as McCain.
  6. He has press conference experience. I'd say more so than any other candidate running.
  7. Though he has no experience as a Miltary general he is able to motivate men to tackle one another. And football is very much like war with strategies for battling over territory.
  8. He has gotten Black Americans and White Americans to work together. No other senator, govenor, or mayor can claim the same thing.
  9. He is a diplomat. He always compliments the opponents he faces. Never name calling. I bet he wouldn't stoop to calling the insurgents in Iraq cowardly terrorists. He'd say they are a fierce opponent and we're going to need to get pressure on their quarterback to have a chance to win this thing.
  10. His team's color is Red White and Blue. Mostly blue but more American than the Cowboys who's team colors do not include red. Yes, that's right the Dallas Cowboys want to be Greek.
  11. He knows you can only take it one game at a time and would never fight two wars at once. I bet he'd withdraw from the Iraq and Afghanstan so we could better focus our efforts on the real enemy--Dallas.

So please get out and vote on Tuesday. Vote for Tom Coughlin for president he's the only we can win with.