Andy Rooney is a Tool

I watched me some 60 minutes last Sunday. The Giants game was so depressing I needed something to cheer me up. At the end of 60 minutes Leslie Stahl once again threw it to Andy for what is supposed to be amusing social commentary. Once again Andy Rooney showed himself to be out of touch, old and doddering.

Last week Mr. Rooney discussed the big bags of crap Americans carry around. Andy just didn't get it. First off, Americans don't carry around big bags filled with things New Yorkers do because the rest of America travels in cars where they can store their on the go items. The only Americans besides New Yorkers who carry bags around all day to carry their on the go stuff are school children because school children are like New Yorkers in that they are 1) not married and 2) don't have cars.

Andy found it absurd that people need to carry personal organizers around with them. Really, Andy you don't think sleep deprived citizens need help remembering phone numbers, addresses, and appointments? See, Mr. Rooney most people have more to do in a day than write one 2 minute piece about how young people are stupid for mourning the death of Kurt Cobain because he wore ripped jeans and wasn't even poor. (Yes, that piece was over ten years ago and the fact that I remember it probably proves Andy Rooney's point that I don't need a personal organizer.)

The best part of his piece last Sunday was when his mind nearly exploded off his head. He found it unfathomable that "Americans" were carrying books in their bags. He actually seemed annoyed that people felt the need to read. His annoyance was not in an ironic Stephen Colbert way, but in an earnest curmudgeon "In my day we didn't have the luxury to read because we didn’t have eyes we were single cell algae floating in the sea. Books get wet and the ink runs when they’re placed in water," kind of way. He then accused these people of reading at work. Dude, these people are New Yorkers and unlike you they don't have drivers, so they read on the subway and on the bus. It's 2007 no one reads books at work. Why open a book up at your desk, which would illustrate to passersby that you’re not working? Instead you can read my blog on the computer, or online shop, or do any of a million things on the internet, which to a passerby might look like work. Especially, when you quickly hit "Alt" "Tab" to switch your window over to some spreadsheet you're not actually working on. I know. I know, Andy, in your day when people goofed off at work they whittled wood (and could spell the word whittled), and when they were caught by the boss or HR person these lazies were skewered with a musket.

Happy Friday.


rachael said…
Thanks Nina. When spell check gave me the option of twiddled I took the "T" off and decided that was close enough.

Also I don't think you get my emails.