If I Actually Had Fellow Goonies My Life Would Be Less of Goonie Adventure

Tuesday I did make it out of my apartment and up to Egerton, MA for some hiking. Both Anna and Jack had to work so I went up there alone, which might not have been the best choice for a person scared to sleep by herself in the dark. I thought my personal history of traveling all over the globe alone would have given me the confidence to hike in desolate woods by myself the day before Halloween. Further, why should I miss out on experience just because the people I know aren't cool enough to come with me.

I get in the car and drive the 2.5 hours up to MA. I take a number of two lane highways and New England really is beautiful this time of year as cliche as that is. The colors on the trees are all that I hoped, bright reds, oranges and yellows mixed with the green of Evergreens. I find the small little parking lot at the trail head to that leads to the Race Brook Falls. I get out of the car and there is a lone man blowing leaves off the parking lot. I see him and realize he is going to kill me in the woods. He turns off the loud leaf blowing device and starts talking to me. He doesn't look creepy but why is he talking to me? He asks me suspicious questions like, "How far are you going?" I'm vague and say, "As long as I have daylight." He responds, "Well, it's a beautiful day." In my head I think, "No day is beautiful when it's the day you're murdered." To him I just nod in agreement.

I head up the blue blazed trail, the leaf blower starts up again. I see his game, no one will hear me scream over the blaring leaf blower. Oh he's good. He's done this before. I'm screwed. I begin to ascend the Mount Everett and my heart rate goes up. I don't know if this is because I'm out of shape or because I'm certain October 30, 2007 is the day I die. I come to a sign that reads, "view Falls" and an arrow pointing to my right. I say to myself, "OK we'll go look at the falls and then we'll go back down and we'll get some food at a quaint eatery in the Berkshires and it the trip won't have been a waste." Yes, when I'm scared, alone and talking to myself I use the Royal We. Who are we kidding I talk to myself like I'm two people. Those of you with friends should not judge until you've walked a mile in my shoes up a mountain alone.

Unfortunately, the trail to Falls is not marked. I basically follow what seems to be a path and get to the mid section of the Falls. I'm certain there is a way to get to the top of them, but from where I'm standing that way is not clear. I take a few pictures and then hear noise. "Oh shit, the leaf blower is on his way. Alright fuck this. Let's just go back down and get something to eat. We're starving anyway." It's true I was hungry I had only had some Farina earlier in the day. I head back down the mountain only to loose my way off the unmarked trail meaning, I can't find the blue marked trail that takes me back to my car. Thankfully, I have a map and notice if I follow the Race Brook it'll lead me to the trail at some point. As I'm climbing of over rocks and tree trunks I begin to think what I'm going to tell the homicidal lunatic leaf blower. I mean, I've only been hiking an hour and there is still plenty of day light left. I don't know why I feel the need to explain myself to someone who is going to kill me, but I do. He's the last person who's judgement I should be concerned with, but I am. Maybe because he is the only person I talked to all day that day.

My first execuse is that I twisted my knee or ankle. I rule that out. It makes no sense. How did I get back down the mountain? OK. What if I tell him that fell and scraped my knee and I needed to stop the bleeding. I decide against that because I think it's a bad choice to tell your prospective killer that you are lame. Would that make me a more enticing victim? By the time I find the blue blazed trail again I start thinking clearly and I realize I'll tell the fellow that my mother called me and my sister (he doesn't know I have sister) is in labor a month early and my presence at the hosipital is requested. I think that's pretty good. As I'm patting myself on the back for coming up with an exceptional lie for why my hike was so short I hear a twig break behind me. I look back. I see nothing. I freak out and sprint the last third mile on uneven ground back to the car. The leaf blower fellow is long gone. Or did he hide his car and I just out ran him to safety.

We'll never know.