I've Solved the Problem

How are we going to combat global warming? Some have suggested ethanol, but growing all that corn turns out to release more carbon into the air than burning fossil fuels. I was as lost as the rest of you about finding a solution. Then, Tuesday night as I stood in a concert hall watching one of my favorite musicians perform the answer came to me.

All we have to do is eliminate people over 5 feet 8 inches. The taller the person the less efficient their bodies are. Meaning it takes more carbon to feed them, to move them, to hydrate them. Taller people need more water (which we are running low on--see Museum of Natural History Water Exhibit for proof) and they need more calories. More calories requires more farm land and more grazing land which requires us to clear cut forests. Trees keep carbon from creating a massive natural greenhouse that will melt us all. Basically people five feet 8 inches and taller are a walking Saskwatch carbon foot print, and so they must go. It's for the common good.

Further, they stand right in front at music shows blocking the view for the rest of us. Think of it. I world where the polar ice caps stay intact and there is equanimity at rock and roll shows. Rock and Roll shows that are solar powered of coarse.


myka said…
This is a brilliant solution, I can't believe more people have't jumped on this.

Then again, without tall people, short people would fail to develop inferiority complexes and as a result our civilization would suffer a poverty of quality art, thus reducing the chance that there might be a rock and roll show worth seeing. Is that the kind of world you want? A world without rock and toll and war?