This Year's Wannabe

Today I want to share with you the extreme amateur partying I witnessed this weekend. As you all know today is St. Patrick's Day. St. Patrick's Day only comes one day a year. It does not come three days a year or five or 20 or two. However, that didn't stop people from celebrating St. Patrick's day this past weekend when it wasn't actually St. Patrick's Day. My question is how much of an amateur drinker do you have to be that you can't celebrate what has become a drinking a holiday on the actual day blocked out for such revelry?" It's bad enough you people only come out of the woodwork four times a year where you really get your party on. Not used to alcohol every other day of the year you leap into the night on your three beers and one shot screaming craziness, spilling your bile all over bar room floors, spicketting your urine onto sidewalks and building, and basically giving drinking a bad name. But now some of you are so sad as to not be able to celebrate St. Patrick's Day on it's actual day. You are so scared to party you have to do it the weekend before. Making sure you're completely sober and recovered for the start of your work week. Some of you sad sacks started drinking at 5pm on Sunday so that you could be sober by 9pm and done with your hangover by 11pm. You'll tell everyone at your office how you whooped it up this weekend and today you're going to just go home after work and watch Leprechauns on ice.

All I can do for you people is shake my head and shed a tear. You all should be ashamed of yourselves. You are completely owned by your job.

We can discuss if the term "professional drinker" is a euphemism for alcoholic another time.