Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Secretary's Day for Me

Can I just write that I love that Obama selected Hilary Clinton as Secretary of State? Not because I'm a fan of Hilary's. God knows I'm not. But, because I already know who she is. I, now for the first time, can seem like an informed and educated person. If Jay Leno ever stops me for his "Jay Walking" segment and asks who the Secretary of the State of the USA is I can answer confidently Hilary Rodam Clinton (Just don't ask me to spell it.).

Gone are the days when I sheepishly answer the Secretary of State question with "James Baker? Wait no. Tammy Fay Baker. Are women still secretaries in Washington?" The knew knowledge benefits me in all types of ways. For example, if a cute boy at a bar strikes up a conversation with me and begins talking about politics I can say something like, "Picking up the United States' laundry? Well, that sounds like a job for Hilary Clinton, Secretary of State." I know you're thinking, "Rachael, don't you have a boyfriend? What are you doing picking up cute boys in a bar." Listen, just because I'm attached doesn't mean I don't want to be desired by cute boys at bars. What better way to get a cute boy to desire you then to seem intelligent and in the know. The smartest women always get the cutest and most successful boys.

So, thank you President Obama for picking an already famous politician as your Secretary of State. Now, maybe you can put Arnold Schwartzenager (don't ask me to spell it) as Secretary of Defense. Usually, I'm not for Austrian born dudes to head a military, but how smart would I seem if I knew the Secretary of Defense as well. Too bad Paul Newman passed away he'd make a great Secretary of Agriculture. No one ever knows who the Secretary of Agriculture is. Ahh, I guess there is no need to be greedy, I mean we so rarely know the person cooking our food. Can anyone name the chef at any Burger King or McDonalds?

Thanks again Obama you really are an instrument of change. I finally know shit.

2 comments:

Theodore Von Fish-N-Chips said...

"What better way to get a cute boy to desire you than to seem intelligent and in the know."

Hot pants, a tube top, and stilettos also works!

rachael said...

What is this 1983?