Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Apparently Sea Streak Didn't See Al Gore's Movie

For those of you not in the Northern Hemisphere it's summer up here. Every summer I make sure I get myself to the beach (what Jerseyians call "down the shore") at least once. A couple of weeks ago I went for a walk in Park Slope, Brooklyn. On my travels I met some lovely degenerate gamblers. And I am sincere in my calling them lovely. They were all single, over 50 and bought me drinks. As we sat in their regular bar watching "the ponies" Henry, (aka Spike) took a shine to me, turns out I reminded him of his ex-wife. I imagine I reminded him of his ex-wife at the beginning of their marriage when she was young and had yet to leave him causing him an apparent drinking problem.

Henry told me about a ferry he and his buddies take from Wall Street to Momouth Race Way (that's a horse racing track in NJ. It's much classier than the Meadowlands or Yonkers Raceway). He went on to explain that the ferry also went to Sandy Hook (a National Park in NJ it covers 6 miles of beach) and if I had a bike I could take it on the ferry and ride around Sandy Hook. This sounded fabulous to me. He told me it was about $20 r/t.

All excited and filled with vodka and cranberry juice I went home and researched this ferry. Turns out off peak weekend round trip ticket on this ferry to the shore costs $33. If you want to bring a bike that'll cost you an extra $3 EACH WAY!!! For you art school grads that totals $39. Get this. Gas prices are at an all time high. Regular gas in NYC is $3.23. The car I have access to gets a little over 30 miles to the gallon. Sandy Hook is 67 miles from my apartment in Brooklyn. For all you football players, that means it'll cost me $15.32 roundtrip in gas and about another $3 in tolls. That's if I go by myself. If I go with a friend the cost gets cut in half. If I go with the a friend on the ferry we each pay $39.

Here's the question. Why is mass transit a luxury item? Why is Sea Streak economically forcing me to burn fossil fuels? And I'm sure the bastards are subsidised by my tax dollars.

I feel an exegency to soak up as much Jersey Shore as possible before glacial melt pushes the shores of the Atlantic to the coal mines of Ohio.

Down with the ecological terrorist Sea Streak!

2 comments:

SamuelAlito said...

or you could walk over to the LIRR station at Atlantic Avenue and take a train to Jones beach for ten bucks.

or the F train to Coney for $2.

maybe it's me, but isn't the problem here taking the advice of drunken degenerate gamblers?

slinkybender said...

You'd be surprised how much good advice there is to get from drunken degenerate gamblers.

And some of us can even get you an apartment.