Friday, July 07, 2006

Less Than a Week Your Favorite Day of the Year

My birthday is in five days. Don't fret. You still have time to get me a gift. And if you need an extention feel free to email me and discuss your situation. I'm sure we can work something out. The deadline of July 12th isn't as important as you spending a great deal of money on me. In fact if you want you can just send me an obscene amount of money. The more money you send me the more likely I'll be willing to overlook the lack of thought in the gift. If you don't know what to get me and don't want to get me I like alcholic beverages. I'm partial to vanilla flavored vodka. I'm not an alcoholic, but a bottle of Grey Goose vanilla flavored vodka would probably be the most meaningful gift you could give me. I've never been known to drink whiskey, but I wouldn't shun you or return a bottle of whiskey, because i'm that kind of considerate. I really care about the feelings of the people who buy me things. I want you to think I'm really appreciative and grateful. Basically, you can't go wrong. Anything you get me I'll love and use. I'll ferment it until it's 80 proof. But you can't feel that sense of validation and approval if you get me nothing. They only person you're hurting is yourself if you don't buy me something or send me money. In the end I'm only thinking of you and your happiness. I'd hate for you to feel dejected.

So let's celebrate my 29th birthday today tomorrow on the 12th or even in October--hell I have libra rising--It's never too late to buy me a gift. And you can even buy me multiple gifts throughout the year if you feel the need to feel good about yourself. If you want to feel giving and helpful, I'll definitely thank you for whatever you get me each time you get me something.

It's an important birthday because on my 30th birthday my metabolism will retire. This is it. The farewell tour of my metabolism. It'll just be ice cream and vodka for the next 365 days.

Happy Rachael's Birthdays

2 comments:

Nichelle said...

Happy Birthday! Ice cream and vodka is pretty my diet during the summer anyway and I am at least 5 years older than you.

Mistress of Revels said...

I'm going to try to get Ankara cafe to overnight you some yogurt.