Joke Revamped
This one originated in the Northwest, but has been revamped recently here on the East Coast.
My buddy says to me, "It'd be so much easier to get laid if I were gay." I responded, "Uhh, gay men still want men who are in shape and don't wear stained clothing."
"Yeah, but there would be less drama."
"Have you been to the theatre."
I have a female friend same thing, "It'd be so much easier if I were a lesbian."
"If you dated a woman you'd stop being a manipulative bitch."
Here's the thing: relationships are hard gay or straight-male or female. Games are played because we're so scared that someone is going to take our heart and rip it out of our chest. Where they will then tenderize it with a meat tenderizer. Get bored and accidently throw it in the wood chipper where it gets spued all over the lawn. So your neighbor's three legged dog can come along and eat up all the pieces. Which gives the dog a stomach ache becausee you're heart is rotten from years of neglect. The dog quickly digs a hole, throws up your heart into the hole so it where it fements in the Earth like Kim Chi.
That's what we're scared of people. And really, isn't a gay man more likely to have a meat tenderizer and a lesbian more likely to go to Home Depot and buy a wood chipper or four by four to wack the shit out of your heart with?
I don't think men and women are from different planets. I think we're all shopping at the Mall. and that's the problem.
My buddy says to me, "It'd be so much easier to get laid if I were gay." I responded, "Uhh, gay men still want men who are in shape and don't wear stained clothing."
"Yeah, but there would be less drama."
"Have you been to the theatre."
I have a female friend same thing, "It'd be so much easier if I were a lesbian."
"If you dated a woman you'd stop being a manipulative bitch."
Here's the thing: relationships are hard gay or straight-male or female. Games are played because we're so scared that someone is going to take our heart and rip it out of our chest. Where they will then tenderize it with a meat tenderizer. Get bored and accidently throw it in the wood chipper where it gets spued all over the lawn. So your neighbor's three legged dog can come along and eat up all the pieces. Which gives the dog a stomach ache becausee you're heart is rotten from years of neglect. The dog quickly digs a hole, throws up your heart into the hole so it where it fements in the Earth like Kim Chi.
That's what we're scared of people. And really, isn't a gay man more likely to have a meat tenderizer and a lesbian more likely to go to Home Depot and buy a wood chipper or four by four to wack the shit out of your heart with?
I don't think men and women are from different planets. I think we're all shopping at the Mall. and that's the problem.
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