America: Home of the Brave Land of the Scared of the Dark

I heard "God Bless America" Tuesday evening. The following lyric was belted out "God Bless America, Land that I love. Stand beside her, and guide her Thru the night with a light from above..." and that's when I knew that I was an American. Just like me my country is also scared of the dark. America needs someone non-threatening to stand beside her, to guide her through the night with a night light--preferably from above so it doesn't cast creepy shadows whilst America is trying to sleep.

I don't feel like such a coward or a child any more. I mean if big bad America uses a night light then why shouldn't I?