Randy Newman Wasn't Even From NY

I think I now have a handle on Napolean's atittude problem. And as a short person who rides the NYC subway everyday I too have moments where I want to conquer Europe. Everyday I get off the subway only to have to walk up stairs to get to the street. Everyday, someone's ass in my face.

At 5ft 1in I'm at perfect face to ass height while climbing stairs. It's very stressful. I don't know what my co-commuters have been eating, I could be erradicated at any moment. It's times like these when I just want to put on a blue army uniform, wear a big ridiculous hat, get on a white horse, and send Europe back to the stone-age. In the Stone-Age Europeans were not settling on North America. Their anscestors weren't digging subway tunnels and erecting staircases. I'm just saying. Maybe Napolean had a point.


Allison said…
I don't know if it's a height thing; I'm 5'8" and wind up with an ass in my face on the subway stairs pretty often too. And since that diet drug that makes you poop your pants came out, I'm extra afraid.