Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The Computer Age

As I am godless, and yet not enough of an intellectual to have given up superstition at all, I find myself playing Vegas style computer solitaire and asking the computer or universe using the computer as an instrument to predict the future. How, does this work? Simple. I open up the solitaire program and ask it a "yes" "no" question. Then, I usually set the terms that if I win the game the answer to my question is yes, if I loose, then the answer is no. On occassion, i will make it easier on myself to get a yes answer from the computer and set the terms to "if i get out of solitaire debt then the answer is yes."
My telepathically asking my computer's solitaire program to divine the future began a few years ago. At some point I realized the computer was reading my thoughts. Anytime I would play the vegas verision and get the feeling that I was on my way to winning it would all of sudden hit a snag and I would loose. I knew the computer could read my mind and didn't like my cocky attitude. Once I noticed the pattern, I put a great effort into curtailing these self assured thoughts. Obviously, the computer was in control and I had to bow to the computers will. My happiness was in the computers hands. It was the computer who decided if I would win or loose vegas style solitaire. The computer would decide if I would go on a streak and earn over $600 dollars in non-existent money, or if I'd fall into $1000 of dollars of debt. For all I knew if I didn't change my attitude and acknowledge the supreme power of solitiare it would try to collect my fake debt.

I realized that if the computer and its program could read my mind then maybe it could read the future. And if it couldn't and all that mind reading thing was just in my head, then maybe the universe could speak through the vegas style solitaire. I realize the universe could just as well speak to me through the flip of a coin, but i like playing solitaire, so it's a killing two birds kind of thing. Further, if I sat in the office all day flipping a coin people might think i'm nuts. If I play solitaire all day people just think i'm a temp.

I have also taken to playing freecell to figure out what my hidden desires and intentions are. If I show the will to win a game then I obviously do want what I asked for before playing. And if I loose, I must not want that certain thing or person badly enough.

And though you might be laughing this is the truth.

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