Monday, September 18, 2006

This Van is Not for Hire This Dude is Not for Relationship

My best friend Anna called me last night livid. She had just finished a date with some guy she met at a bar weeks ago. It was their second date.

"Rachael, this is fucking bullshit to the 'N'th degree. I go on a date with this guy, right? And remind you I don't really have time to date this weekend what with the big folk festival I am producing for Monday down in Cape May. I had errands to run, but I figured a boy asked me out I need to go. So I compromise with myself and invite him to do laundry with me and then pick up amps and lights for the show at the rental place. He agrees. After we had picked up the gear and dropped it off with the roadees we get ready to say our farewells. He turns to me and says, 'I want to let you know that I'm just interested in dating nothing serious.' WHAT THE FUCK?!! At what point did he get the idea I wanted to be his girlfriend? Rachael, I didn't touch him at any point on the date. I did mentioned how I was engaged to your friend James."

"No, Anna, I'm engaged to James."
"I know, but I thought it was such a funny story I pretended I was the one getting married in nine years. And that's not the point. This was only our second date in like 3 weeks--both of which were afternoon dates. I didn't even attempt to hold his hand. I barely remembered to ask him questions about himself, never mind ask him where this was going? His presumptiousness pissed me off to no end. It's like someone saying to you, 'You look really shitty in that outfit.' when you never asked how the outfit looked. If I asked you how I looked then I deserve the truth, but if I don't seek your opinion then shut up! I don't appreciate being rejected without asking for the rejection."
"So, Anna, what did you say to him?"
"I wanted to say don't worry I'm in love with someone else, but I didn't. Instead I made a face, tried not to laugh at him and said, don't worry I don't commit. I explained once I committed to some dude for two weeks and then I broke up with him. He asks, 'Why don't you commit?'
'Because I don't trust people.'
'Why don't you trust people? Is it because you think they'll go crazy and become violent? Or is it you think they might steal your identity and destroy your credit?'
'No, it's because people will betray me.'
What really pisses me off is I wasn't into him. I just figured I am supposed to date people. That's what I'm told single people do. I figured why not this dude. Just because after we made-out the drunken night we met I have since lost interest in sex, doesn't mean I shouldn't spend more time with him. I mean, he's not an accountant, he writes, he didn't seem like a pycho. Can we single people ask for more? Like engaging conversation, or want to jump his bones. Please, that's just greedy. And yet I would have prefered to socialize with you or taken a nap then deal with this dude.
So, I inconvienenced myself to go out with this guy and then he tells me he doesn't want anything serious. When did I suggest anything else? It's just my aunt's voice in my head (Anna was raised by her Aunt and Uncle) saying, 'Give him a chance, you're so quick to judge.' Why do I listen to that voice?"
"So how did it end?"
"He kissed me good-bye and asked if he could come to the show on Monday and bring friends. I was like, hells yeah. As long as he comes to shows and brings people with him, I have to date him."
"You're a folk music whore."
"Cock-tease, not whore. I'm not sleeping with a presumptious dater."

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