Monday, September 25, 2006

Those Bums! (Yeah, I know I had similar post last year)

Before I met my boyfriend Jack, I had great trouble picking good men for romantic relations. I never could figure out what was wrong with me. I never learned why I kept picking so poorly. And then today it hit me. I'm a NY Football Giants fan. These men put me through the emotional ringer each fall. They've been doing this to me every fall since I'm seven years old. I feel it's how I've now patterned my relationship with men.

This season began with our honeymoon period, the pre-season, where they went undefeated. But, we all know that just like the begining of a relationship pre-season means nothing. No one plays their first strings for longer than the first quarter during pre-season, just like no one shows who they really are in the first month of dating.

My Giants showed their true colors in the season opener, where they lost and not prettily to the Indianapolis Colts. After that game I felt maybe these guys aren't so hot, but instead of jumping ship I say to myself, "Ahh it's the first game of the season. My girlfriend, New England, had a rocky start after the pre-season last year and her boys wound up being OK." I decide to stick with my Giants the following week where I watch them stink it up for three quarters. I say to myself, "You know what? That's it! After today I'm done. Screw these guys. I don't need this shit." Next thing you know they score 17 unanswered points, tie the game, and win it in overtime. So, I start thinking I was too rash. These guys have heart. They come through when it matters (like a boyfriend who brings you chicken soup when you have the flu. Sure he had to play darts the night of your brother's wedding but he showed up when you really needed him.) I need to have more faith. I need to be more forgiving. How do they repay my dedication? This week they loose 42 to 30. Really?!!

I ask myself, "What the fuck am I doing?" All I want to do is get drunk and have my friends crank call my Giants at 3:00am with non-traceable cell phones. How could they treat me like this? It's like this every year and every year I come back for more. I know it's me. I need professional help.

I put up with them and their unpredictable behaviour because I like them. However, I like them for no rational reason. It's not even because we're from the same city. The Jets are from here too and they won today and yet I can't get it up for them. Let's face it. It's not rational it's just pheromones. If the 49-ers smelled like the Giants I'd be all over those guys. If it were logical I'd have jumped ship long ago. There are better teams out there--like New England's Patriots or Seattle's Seahawks. Why not start-up with one of them?

Sports fans would call me a fair-weather fan if I left my Giants for a more attractive and more successful team. A team that might respect me with consistent play, not be so callous with my feelings. I believe psychologists have a word for sports fans--enablers. My female friends would advise that I dump these Giants. They'd tell me my relationship with the Giants is abusive and co-dependent. They'd tell me to stop looking at football all together. There's nothing good to be found in that pool of teams. None of them win more than 3 superbowls in a row. They all fall on hard times and then claim they're rebuilding. My friends would remind me of my good friend the NY Yankees Baseball team. They'd say, "Rachael, you like the Yankees. You go see them play on occassion. Sometimes you'll watch a game at a bar. Why don't you take it to the next level with them. Forget those god damn Giants." And they'd be completely right.

There's only one problem. I really like football. I wish I didn't. I wish I could just forget the Giants. I wish I could forget the two superbowls they've won. I wish I could forget the many post-seasons we've had together. But I can't. I know they suck. But I also know somewhere deep down they do want to win every game. I have to believe they're trying. I have to believe! Just like Luke Skywalker had to believe there was some good left in his father. Luke's belief saved his father, I know I'm not a Jedi, but my faith has to be worth something.

1 comment:

Intimidating Sex Appeal said...

Umm... am I supposed to be the New York Giants? For crying out loud, just call me up and ask me on a date. I'm gonna say yes.