Anna Is a Hard Woman to Date.
I received a phone call from my best friend Anna the other night. Here is an excerpt of our conversation.
"Rachael, let me tell you what happened. I went out with that dude who felt it necessary to tell me he only wanted to date and wanted nothing serious after our second date.."
"You went out with him again. Why? He pissed you off. You hate him."
"Rachael, I've tried dating boys I've liked that never worked so I figured I date someone I could careless about. What do you know? You're practically an old married lady. You and that Jack of yours. Anyway, we go out with a bunch of his friends and we all proceed to imbibe a great deal of alcohol. I finally can't hold it in any longer so I say, 'You're presumptious.'
"You said that?"
"Oh yeah. I told him who was he to tell me he didn't want anything serious. When did I ask him to be my boyfriend. I told him I didn't even like him. I was just dating him because I'm single and supposedly that's what single people do. He was all, 'I was just being honest. Everyone wants the truth.' I was like, 'What planet are you living on? No one wants the truth. Sure you shouldn't be deceptive and manipulative but you don't need to fully disclose. Damn. The truth isn't constant anyway. That day you might not have wanted anything serious but tomorrow you could have totally wanted to marry me.' And then I continued, 'Fine dude, you want honesty I'll give you honesty. After making out with you that night we met I never wanted to have sex again. The whole thing was such a fucking ordeal."
"You told him he killed your libido?"
"Well, he did. I was showing him how full disclosure is retarded. And how the truth isn't constant. I didn't want to have sex ever again. I didn't think about sex for weeks. But then in the mail Y Tu Mama Tambien arrived in my mailbox via the netflix. After viewing that movie my libido made a full recovery."
"Did you have sex with him?"
"No, he had cold."
"Are you seeing him again?"
"Of course not. He's not calling again, which proves my point no one wants to know the truth. He didn't want to know he made a women loose her sex drive. He didn't ask how he was or if I enjoyed myself with him. But I told him anyway. I maybe alone but at least I'm right and that's more important because I'm not 40 yet. Rachael, tell your readers this, only devulge the truth when people ask to hear it. Otherwise, shut the fuck up!"
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Teachers and federal government employees have this coming Monday off for Columbus Day. So come on down to the "I Love Jack" show SUNDAY night and party it up!
This week the "I love Jack" radio hour welcomes: Claudia Cogan (Sirius Satellite Radio), Theron Steiner (Freedumb Sketch Group), Myka Fox (preparing for her Comedy Central audition), Liam McEneaney (Comedy Central), The Odebra Twins (The Howl Festival)
With special guests appearances by Mike Dobbins and Matt McCarthy
Hosted by Rachael Parenta (The brains behind this operation)
And resident DJ Your Friend Jesse spinning soul, lounge, and hip hop all night long. Not to mention some of the best Chinese food in the city. Did you read that Jewish people? Chinese food on a Sunday. How could you not come?
"Rachael, let me tell you what happened. I went out with that dude who felt it necessary to tell me he only wanted to date and wanted nothing serious after our second date.."
"You went out with him again. Why? He pissed you off. You hate him."
"Rachael, I've tried dating boys I've liked that never worked so I figured I date someone I could careless about. What do you know? You're practically an old married lady. You and that Jack of yours. Anyway, we go out with a bunch of his friends and we all proceed to imbibe a great deal of alcohol. I finally can't hold it in any longer so I say, 'You're presumptious.'
"You said that?"
"Oh yeah. I told him who was he to tell me he didn't want anything serious. When did I ask him to be my boyfriend. I told him I didn't even like him. I was just dating him because I'm single and supposedly that's what single people do. He was all, 'I was just being honest. Everyone wants the truth.' I was like, 'What planet are you living on? No one wants the truth. Sure you shouldn't be deceptive and manipulative but you don't need to fully disclose. Damn. The truth isn't constant anyway. That day you might not have wanted anything serious but tomorrow you could have totally wanted to marry me.' And then I continued, 'Fine dude, you want honesty I'll give you honesty. After making out with you that night we met I never wanted to have sex again. The whole thing was such a fucking ordeal."
"You told him he killed your libido?"
"Well, he did. I was showing him how full disclosure is retarded. And how the truth isn't constant. I didn't want to have sex ever again. I didn't think about sex for weeks. But then in the mail Y Tu Mama Tambien arrived in my mailbox via the netflix. After viewing that movie my libido made a full recovery."
"Did you have sex with him?"
"No, he had cold."
"Are you seeing him again?"
"Of course not. He's not calling again, which proves my point no one wants to know the truth. He didn't want to know he made a women loose her sex drive. He didn't ask how he was or if I enjoyed myself with him. But I told him anyway. I maybe alone but at least I'm right and that's more important because I'm not 40 yet. Rachael, tell your readers this, only devulge the truth when people ask to hear it. Otherwise, shut the fuck up!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teachers and federal government employees have this coming Monday off for Columbus Day. So come on down to the "I Love Jack" show SUNDAY night and party it up!This week the "I love Jack" radio hour welcomes: Claudia Cogan (Sirius Satellite Radio), Theron Steiner (Freedumb Sketch Group), Myka Fox (preparing for her Comedy Central audition), Liam McEneaney (Comedy Central), The Odebra Twins (The Howl Festival)
With special guests appearances by Mike Dobbins and Matt McCarthy
Hosted by Rachael Parenta (The brains behind this operation)
And resident DJ Your Friend Jesse spinning soul, lounge, and hip hop all night long. Not to mention some of the best Chinese food in the city. Did you read that Jewish people? Chinese food on a Sunday. How could you not come?
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