Friday, October 13, 2006

Superman is Super Yella

My mother told me that I don't love Jack. This confused the hell out of me. If it's not love then what have I been feeling? I didn't speak the question aloud, but she responded anyway, "Indigestion? Nausea?"
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After re-watching Superman (the orignal starring Christopher Reeve) this past evening I realized what a coward Superman is. He can not be physically hurt. He's not even lactose intollerant. He has no physical concerns save kryptonite, but that's a rare rare substance. The only time the man needs to step up to the plate and take a risk is in regards to his feelings for Lana Lang and Lois Lane. And he never does. Now, if he were a regular human who had to worry about all the crap we have to, I'd be more forgiving. But he doesn't. Not only does Superman not have to worry about car accidents, or buildings collapsing on him but he doesn't even have to pay rent or a mortgage. His dad gave him an entire fortress on his 18th birthday. It's a fortress of solitude which means, no annoying roommates leaving dishes in the sink. All he has to do is work on his hobby of fighting crime. Yeah, it's a hobby because he doesn't get paid. Not that it matters. So you'd think that he could at least one time show some courage and plant one on Lois. (And do not defend Superman with a Superman II reference-- he gives her the mind erase kiss at the end which negates any bravery credits he accumulated in the begining of the film).

See, the rest of us native Earthlings have good cause to be chicken shit because for us everyday is a death defying act. We could die crossing the street, we could die just by eating spinach. So execuse us if we just don't have the strength to declare our feelings to people. Hell, Superman doesn't even have the courage to be himself. He keeps people at a distance with that bafoonish Clark Kent act of his.

(I don't know what my point is. I was going to write a post about how I talk to my bicycles as if they were people but instead this post happened.)


Don't get me wrong, Superman is my favorite superhero (This is of superhero movies I've watched. I haven't read many comic books in my life). I had such a crush on him as a child and hell, I still do. Probably because he's the most powerful man on Earth and yet he is still scared of girls, which probably wouldn't be charming in real life but somehow in a movie it gets me all teary. It's either that or Christopher Reeve's blue eyes and dark hair. I've always been a sucker for that-- just ask Gabriel Byrne.

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This week's guests: Charles Star, Tom McCaffrey, Sue Ball, Katina Carao
musical guest: Sarah Deshaw
Hosted by : Rachael Parenta
Special Guest: Joe Randazzo
Spinning Soul, Lounge, and Hip Hop: Your Friend Jesse

3 comments:

Your Friend Jesse said...

Ahh, but it's Chris REEVE (no "s").

Good old George Reeves had the "S" -- same Superman, different untimely death.

Anonymous said...

You just don't get Superman. He can't declare his feelings because he's from another planet. He doesn't know that he can't actually be in love with people, because he has a special vocation. He doesn't have to worry about getting hit by a car etc. etc. Yeah, yeah, but he has to worry about saving other people from getting hit by cars, and he has to worry about saving the world. Your petty responsibilities don't really compare.

Thanks, bye.

rachael said...

Jesse, Thanks for the correction.

Anonymous,
Who says I don't worry about people being hit by cars? Because I do. I have saved many a friend, not paying attention while crossing the street, from being hit by a car. But more importantly-- really? REALLY? Are you really this upset by a blog post that's obvious intention is to be silly?