Handi-capable. Not Handi-Dateable
Approximately, eight years ago my parents pressured me into getting Lasik surgery. Everyday I'd come home from work and they'd say, "You should get the laser surgery for your eyes. You're aunt got it. Your cousins and uncle got it. They love it. Wouldn't it be nice to see without your glasses." I thought it would be cool to see without my glasses, but I already saw with my glasses, so though it would be cool it seemed unnecessary. It is my belief that my parents wanted me to get the surgery because they thought if I didn't wear glasses I would get more dates. They believed in this theory so strongly that they were willing to put up the money for this elective surgery. I said, ‘If you're going to put up money for elective medical care, fuck the lasers get me some psychotherapy” I thought perhaps if I was a more reasoned person, a less guarded and hostile person, I would get more dates. Unfortunately, we will never know if my analysis was right.
It turned out my parents were correct. I got the Lasik surgery and soon after I was dating many more fellas--relative to the amount of men I was dating prior to the surgery. (I mean, it's not like I was dating a fleet of sailors at a time, but for me I was doing pretty well.) I wasn't any saner nor more emotionally sound. It had to be the glasses-- actually lack of glasses. Or so I thought.
In the last couple of years my eyesight has once again begun to deteriorate and so has my dating numbers. However, I do not wear glasses. My eyes have not regressed to the point that I need to wear glasses all the time. I should wear them to drive at night, but I figure if people are going to drive drunk why can't I drive near-sighted it's only fair. Anyway, I'm not wearing glasses and yet, the number of male suitors has diminished.
I began to search for a reason. At first, I thought it was because I moved from Portland, back to New York City, where there are so many more highly attractive females than in Portland. Meaning, I could compete in the Northwest but not in NYC. However, further investigation revealed this hypothesis to be false. I remembered when I first moved back to NYC I dated a number of gentlemen -- OK a handful. Plus, there are plenty of marginally attractive women who date quite a bit in this city. My next hypothesis was that it was my personality. I am emotionally guarded. I can also be ferociously mean. I quickly disproved that by recalling the fact I've always been this way and that has had no baring on my how many suitors I attract.
It finally hit me. It's my shitty eyesight. Men don't like women who can't see very well. Actually, men don't like me when I can't see very well. (As we know there are women out there who where glasses and/or squint and they are married.) So, basically, I'm still not sane, I have no gentleman callers, and I once again can't see. Thanks mom and dad.
**Note some have suggested my lack of dating has to do with having my boyfriend Jack and being engaged to my friend James. Perhaps. Perhaps not. More tests need to be run.
It turned out my parents were correct. I got the Lasik surgery and soon after I was dating many more fellas--relative to the amount of men I was dating prior to the surgery. (I mean, it's not like I was dating a fleet of sailors at a time, but for me I was doing pretty well.) I wasn't any saner nor more emotionally sound. It had to be the glasses-- actually lack of glasses. Or so I thought.
In the last couple of years my eyesight has once again begun to deteriorate and so has my dating numbers. However, I do not wear glasses. My eyes have not regressed to the point that I need to wear glasses all the time. I should wear them to drive at night, but I figure if people are going to drive drunk why can't I drive near-sighted it's only fair. Anyway, I'm not wearing glasses and yet, the number of male suitors has diminished.
I began to search for a reason. At first, I thought it was because I moved from Portland, back to New York City, where there are so many more highly attractive females than in Portland. Meaning, I could compete in the Northwest but not in NYC. However, further investigation revealed this hypothesis to be false. I remembered when I first moved back to NYC I dated a number of gentlemen -- OK a handful. Plus, there are plenty of marginally attractive women who date quite a bit in this city. My next hypothesis was that it was my personality. I am emotionally guarded. I can also be ferociously mean. I quickly disproved that by recalling the fact I've always been this way and that has had no baring on my how many suitors I attract.
It finally hit me. It's my shitty eyesight. Men don't like women who can't see very well. Actually, men don't like me when I can't see very well. (As we know there are women out there who where glasses and/or squint and they are married.) So, basically, I'm still not sane, I have no gentleman callers, and I once again can't see. Thanks mom and dad.
**Note some have suggested my lack of dating has to do with having my boyfriend Jack and being engaged to my friend James. Perhaps. Perhaps not. More tests need to be run.
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