Trophies for Everyone
Disgruntled Americans,
I am the cause of your unhappiness. I am the reason you are dissatisfied and upset with the U.S. government. I take full responsibility. Since I realize I am to blame I also plan to rectify the situation.
It's simple. I don't believe in government. When I write, "I don't believe in government" I don't mean that I think government doesn't exist like one might not believe in God or fairies. No. I mean, I don't believe in government like no one believed in Rudy (of Hollywood and Norte Dame fame.) I feel my constant criticism and hateful comments have deterred the U.S. government from living up to its full potential. Well, in an act of patriotism my conduct ceases this instant. No more will I rail against the miss-management of my tax dollars (as limited as those are), no more will I bitch about the stupidity of surveillance cameras, from here on in you will not be subjected to my rants about civil rights being trampled. From here on in I will only be positive. I will only boost the self-esteem of the government. My theory is that if the U.S. government feels better about itself it will be more competent.
I will now compliment our government. Umm. I love the quarter. I think it's brilliant. In fact I have to say that the United States quarter dollar coin piece is my favorite piece of currency. This is coming from someone who has traveled to Europe before the Euro was instituted. The quarter is fabulous. I think it's better than Spain’s peseta or England's pound. And, that's knowing that the pound has more purchasing power than the U.S. quarter. And the Canadian quarter can't even compare. It's smaller and thinner--pathetic really. The Canadian quarter is a hack. Canada can you come up with anything original? All I know is that I was never able to buy a game of "Out run" or "Pac Man" with a Canadian quarter. Nope. Those video arcade memories were purchased with a good old U.S. issued quarter.
Sure, we could have all done without those gimicky state themed quarters. Uff. How obvious. Shit! I'm being critical again. Damn! I mean....those state themed quarters were very folksy and artsy. They were very Grandma Moses. Good job U.S. Government. I'd pat you on the back if you had one. Not that you should have one. You're not a person. You're governing body and governing bodies don't have human body parts. Way to go on not being a freak government made-up of human body parts. God, you are so awesome U.S. Government. Bravo.
I think that should do the trick. The U.S. Government should be full of self-confidence that it now will act up to its full potential.
I am the cause of your unhappiness. I am the reason you are dissatisfied and upset with the U.S. government. I take full responsibility. Since I realize I am to blame I also plan to rectify the situation.
It's simple. I don't believe in government. When I write, "I don't believe in government" I don't mean that I think government doesn't exist like one might not believe in God or fairies. No. I mean, I don't believe in government like no one believed in Rudy (of Hollywood and Norte Dame fame.) I feel my constant criticism and hateful comments have deterred the U.S. government from living up to its full potential. Well, in an act of patriotism my conduct ceases this instant. No more will I rail against the miss-management of my tax dollars (as limited as those are), no more will I bitch about the stupidity of surveillance cameras, from here on in you will not be subjected to my rants about civil rights being trampled. From here on in I will only be positive. I will only boost the self-esteem of the government. My theory is that if the U.S. government feels better about itself it will be more competent.
I will now compliment our government. Umm. I love the quarter. I think it's brilliant. In fact I have to say that the United States quarter dollar coin piece is my favorite piece of currency. This is coming from someone who has traveled to Europe before the Euro was instituted. The quarter is fabulous. I think it's better than Spain’s peseta or England's pound. And, that's knowing that the pound has more purchasing power than the U.S. quarter. And the Canadian quarter can't even compare. It's smaller and thinner--pathetic really. The Canadian quarter is a hack. Canada can you come up with anything original? All I know is that I was never able to buy a game of "Out run" or "Pac Man" with a Canadian quarter. Nope. Those video arcade memories were purchased with a good old U.S. issued quarter.
Sure, we could have all done without those gimicky state themed quarters. Uff. How obvious. Shit! I'm being critical again. Damn! I mean....those state themed quarters were very folksy and artsy. They were very Grandma Moses. Good job U.S. Government. I'd pat you on the back if you had one. Not that you should have one. You're not a person. You're governing body and governing bodies don't have human body parts. Way to go on not being a freak government made-up of human body parts. God, you are so awesome U.S. Government. Bravo.
I think that should do the trick. The U.S. Government should be full of self-confidence that it now will act up to its full potential.
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