I Doth Protest Too Much

My friend Mike Jenkins suggested I was gay. I told him, "Just because I turn the ladies on doesn't mean I am gay."

I thought about it and I was like, I think if I were gay I'd be the type of person who would be gay. I wouldn't be closeted or anything. I mean, I've admitted to sleeping with a forty year old alcoholic dude with blackened teeth that's way more embarassing and horrifying than liking women.