Marky Mark Ain't Got Nothing on Me.

Writing as a very small fish in quite a large pond I realized on my trip to Oregon that there are definite advantages to being a small-medium sized fish in a large-small pond. To the left is a picture of the limo that drove me to my guest set out in the west hills of Portland. As a small-medium fish this limo was free of charge. It even came with a driver donning a cap.

The limo came with an entourage. That's my entourage (right) she goes by the moniker "T-kitty." Why? Because that's what I said she'd go by. She's a small fish and I'm a small-medium fish in that large-small pond called Portland, so she's going to do what I say.

You're wondering why I needed a limo and the entourage of T-Kitty? Well, when you lived some place and left that someplace to go to a bigger someplace, when you return to the original someplace you best be all Hollywood about it, even if the new someoplace was Brooklyn and not Hollywood at all. If you don't walk up to the West Side Comedy Club (located in a bar that is part of stripmall very near the suburbs) all Hollywood like for your 5 minute spot---which is a very short spot, but what are you going to do? The crippled-booker/comedian never returned your email asking for an MC or Feature spot--You've got to be Hollywood or else you look like like a chump.

And that's why I live in New York City. Sure I don't get free limos or get to eat a a burger, a salad, bread-pudding and a drink for the grand total of $8 (including tip) but I can be a chump all I want because no one is going to notice.