I Wrote this in a Hotel Lobby.

A few days ago I wrote about FAA regulations that restrict our ability to bring bottles of root beer home on airplanes. That same day a couple of people from Halliburton read my blog.

How do I know that? Because I have my eye on the people who have their eyes on people. They are reading my blog now, looking for encoded messages, much like Robert Redford in the movie "3 Days of the Condor." Except instead of reading literature like he did, these people are reading my blog.

I'm very nervous about this because there are encoded messages in this blog. Not messages that would encourage people to start a violent revolution; I can barely find the focus and energy to eat two meals a day, never mind organize the populace to free themselves. (And let's face it: I don't even like most of the populace.) No, I have encoded messages about boys.

Government officials like to ruin people's lives for no reason. We've all seen "Enemy of the State" starring Will Smith and the love of my life Gabriel Byrne. I have no doubt some dickwad in the CIA who needs a promotion is going to start in with me just because I wrote about root beer on an airplane and he thought I was a terrorist. Now, instead of admitting his error to his superiors, he's going to ruin my life instead. For example, he'll figure out that in my joke about a gentleman named Anthony Michael Giovani, the name Anthony Michael Giovani is just code for a man named Michael Anthony G. They are highly educated, those CIA agents, and they can crack tough codes like this. Michael Anthony will probably sue me once the CIA makes it public and I'll lose everything: my bed on cinderblocks, my pint of Ben and Jerry's cookie dough that's in my freezer. Everything!

Why can't we be free?

Comments

Anonymous said…
Maybe Haliburton owns the root beer industry and wants to keep tabs on customer interest?

In any event....99 cents each, plus shipping!!

http://www.popsoda.com/henweinrootb.html

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