Femme Foreign Policy
There are three inspirations for today's post. I'm reading a book by Rachel Simmons about how pre-teen and teenage girls express aggression and anger. I've also heard many people state that if women ran things there wouldn't be war. (I've also heard the variation "If women ran things, things would be better.) My third inspiration is the Iraqi war America is entangled in.
After growing up a girl and now reading a book on why girls act the way they do I find myself agreeing with popular notion that if women were in charge their wouldn't be war. Here's how a female would handle the Iraq problem. Our fearless woman president would have heard a rumor from the CIA during lunch that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. The female president would have gotten very angry. "Doesn't Sadam know that my country is the only country who can have weapons of mass destruction? Iraq is such a copycat. And really, who does Iraq think it is with all that oil? The oil is only with Iraq because the oil doesn't know the oil could do better. Iraq might have weapons of mass destruction but America has used them. America is way cooler." After the president got done bitching about Iraq with the prime minister of England (behind Iraq's back, mind you.) our president would have gone over to Iraq and said, "Oh my god, I love your weapons of mass destruction."
Sadam would have been all like, "I don't have weapons of mass destruction."
And our President would have been like, "Oh, it's OK you can tell me. I won't tell anyone. All us first worlder's have them anyway. Hell, even some of the second worlders have them. You know those countries that used to hang with the USSR. What a loser that country was. Am I right?"
Sadam would have probably responded, "I really don't have any weapons. I was thinking of developing some, but I don't know."
Our President would have egged him on. "Oh you totally should. You'd be great at it. I mean if the Russians can do it then anyone can."
Sadam would be like, "Yeah, that's true."
And then our president would have gone to the Russians and told them Sadam said that Russians are stupid. Our president would have sashed over to the UN to tell them that Sadam is totally going to develop WMDs. "The nerve." She then would have convinced the whole world one country at a time to not talk to Iraq anymore. The whole world would then snub Iraq. The country would be isolated and alone. No one to trade with; no one to fund their nuclear program (the Russians sure as hell aren't going to once they found out the Iraqis think Russians are stupid); and no one to eat lunch with in the cafeteria.
Next thing you know the Iraqis become despondent. Then they become depressed. They can't understand why the world is being like this. Their leader just had meeting with the leader of United States, the most popular country in the world (though of course everyone hates America behind America's America is so arrogant.). The Iraqis don't know what to do. They feel so alone. And they blame themselves. They must have done something wrong. They begin to that think maybe if we give up Islam the countries of the world will become their friends again. Except, that doesn't make sense because other Muslim countries are talking to them now either, and Iraq wasn't really very religious to begin with. The Iraqis try watching more MTV to fit in. Nothing works. Iraq tries to get help at the UN the UN tells Iraq it's just a phase. It happens to every country, just ask the Germans.
Iraq, with no place to turn, becomes suicidal. Eventually, the country torches itself in it's own oil. Yes, if a woman was in charge Iraq would end up in shambles. However, not one US soldier would have died, and all the oil we wanted for ourselves would have gone up with the country. Meaning, not as much oil to burn. Not as much burnt oil means less carbon emissions, which means global warming trends don't get expedited as severely. Oh, and of course no WMD threat. I guess things would be better if women ran things.
After growing up a girl and now reading a book on why girls act the way they do I find myself agreeing with popular notion that if women were in charge their wouldn't be war. Here's how a female would handle the Iraq problem. Our fearless woman president would have heard a rumor from the CIA during lunch that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. The female president would have gotten very angry. "Doesn't Sadam know that my country is the only country who can have weapons of mass destruction? Iraq is such a copycat. And really, who does Iraq think it is with all that oil? The oil is only with Iraq because the oil doesn't know the oil could do better. Iraq might have weapons of mass destruction but America has used them. America is way cooler." After the president got done bitching about Iraq with the prime minister of England (behind Iraq's back, mind you.) our president would have gone over to Iraq and said, "Oh my god, I love your weapons of mass destruction."
Sadam would have been all like, "I don't have weapons of mass destruction."
And our President would have been like, "Oh, it's OK you can tell me. I won't tell anyone. All us first worlder's have them anyway. Hell, even some of the second worlders have them. You know those countries that used to hang with the USSR. What a loser that country was. Am I right?"
Sadam would have probably responded, "I really don't have any weapons. I was thinking of developing some, but I don't know."
Our President would have egged him on. "Oh you totally should. You'd be great at it. I mean if the Russians can do it then anyone can."
Sadam would be like, "Yeah, that's true."
And then our president would have gone to the Russians and told them Sadam said that Russians are stupid. Our president would have sashed over to the UN to tell them that Sadam is totally going to develop WMDs. "The nerve." She then would have convinced the whole world one country at a time to not talk to Iraq anymore. The whole world would then snub Iraq. The country would be isolated and alone. No one to trade with; no one to fund their nuclear program (the Russians sure as hell aren't going to once they found out the Iraqis think Russians are stupid); and no one to eat lunch with in the cafeteria.
Next thing you know the Iraqis become despondent. Then they become depressed. They can't understand why the world is being like this. Their leader just had meeting with the leader of United States, the most popular country in the world (though of course everyone hates America behind America's America is so arrogant.). The Iraqis don't know what to do. They feel so alone. And they blame themselves. They must have done something wrong. They begin to that think maybe if we give up Islam the countries of the world will become their friends again. Except, that doesn't make sense because other Muslim countries are talking to them now either, and Iraq wasn't really very religious to begin with. The Iraqis try watching more MTV to fit in. Nothing works. Iraq tries to get help at the UN the UN tells Iraq it's just a phase. It happens to every country, just ask the Germans.
Iraq, with no place to turn, becomes suicidal. Eventually, the country torches itself in it's own oil. Yes, if a woman was in charge Iraq would end up in shambles. However, not one US soldier would have died, and all the oil we wanted for ourselves would have gone up with the country. Meaning, not as much oil to burn. Not as much burnt oil means less carbon emissions, which means global warming trends don't get expedited as severely. Oh, and of course no WMD threat. I guess things would be better if women ran things.
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