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Horoscope Addicts Anonymous (Or not so anonymous in this case)

My horoscope reading started casual. Once a week I'd log onto tvguide.com to read the synopsis of the upcoming episode of "The Nanny." Then I'd click over to the horoscope section. Harmless really. I didn't see anything wrong with reading a horoscope here and there. I mean, my father used to read me my horoscope from the Star Ledger on Sundays when I was kid. Don't get all freaked out. It wasn't every Sunday just every now and again, and at that time I didn't even pay it much thought.

At some point in my life a friend turned me onto astrology.com where they'd email you your horoscope everday. Even then, though I was still in full control. I didn't rush to my inbox to see what the day had in store for me. But then I started having major boy trouble. I tried seeking advice from friends and family but no one knew what he was thinking, no one knew what I should do. I began reading seven, eight, sometimes nine horoscopes a day trying to find the prediction I like the best. Desperate for information and control over the uncontrollable I began reading his astrological forecasts as well.

I hit rock bottom when a librarian found me passed out under the "Birthday" book. The heavy hardcover book had fallen on my head knocked me out. I was taken to the ER where I received 2 stitches. I was a mess. That's how the universe works though. After the conk on the head my eyes couldn't focus on text. My friends, the blessings they are, refused to read to me.

I got sober. I realized there's no santa there's no god, and there are no planets other than Earth.