Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Anna Gets Some

Sick of folk musicians and their bullshit my best friend, Anna, attended a party thrown by an anthropologist in hopes to broaden her social circle. It worked. Anna met a 7ft Viking. "Rachael, it was great," she relayed to me. "I arrived at the party I saw this cute guy and decided I was going to make-out with him. I couldn't resist the horned helmet." She was brilliant. Usually, Anna sees someone attractive, runs to the otherside of the room, and then talks to the non-attractive married dude. It is considerably easier to talk to someone you could careless to impress. But Saturday Anna found courage. Congratulations to her. She didn't even bother to talk to anyone else at the party. She cornered her prey by the guacamole and chips and flirted. After hours of chit chat the Viking mentioned he was late meeting his friends for a meade drinking contest. Anna offered him a lift on her bike. "Rachael, I have to admit it was a challenge situating his long, gangly body on my handle bars, but I was not going to be deterred. I had an attractive non-folk musician in my sites and I was not going to throw this opportunity away. Though, I think I'm going to invest in some trick pegs. If this new me is going to be offering boys rides they should have a place to stand. "

He invited Anna into the meade hall. She accepted his invitation. She learned a great many things. Did you know Vikings have day jobs too. The life of a Viking is hard these days with all the anti-piracy laws that have been passed in the last 3oo years. Anna's Viking makes ends meet working in a tissue factory as a tissue quality inspector. He has to make sure that each tissue the factory produces is as soft as the fuzz found on a peach.

"Oh my god and get this, Rachael. He carries a flask just like you." "Really?" I replied in disbelief." "Yeah, I told him it was too bad you weren't with us because we could have drank for free from my best friend's flask. He smiled. Then he unscrewed the top of his viking club, reached in, and pulled out a flask. We laughed. It was a good time. At one point in the evening the Viking DJ played Perry Como song, we both got really excited. We couldn't believe we both were such huge Perry Como fans."

Drunkenly, they stumbled to Anna's bike where they made out. "Rachael, it was hard keeping our balance on the bike while drunk and 'fooling around' but we did it. Like I said I was not going to be deterred."

I told Anna it sounded like she and the Viking were a good match. She responded, "Flasks and music aren't going lead anywhere."

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