Why I'm so Glad I'm in a Relationship
People, I'm so glad I'm dating Jack. Not just because he's friggin awesome. The awesomist! But because dating sucks. I could just imagine me going on a date with some dude who I had met two weeks prior at a party. I'm sure he'd be decent looking which would be the reason I probably would have fooled around with after said party, but I'm sure I wouldn't really actually like him. I imagine I'd find myself talking to a dude who finds out I'm a comedian and then feels the need to attempt to be funny when he lacked such an ability. I could just picture it: after an hour of chit chat at the party I decide that I want to make out with this fella, only to meet his slightly cuter less awkward friend. Unfortunately, I doubt if I were single I'd have the skills to switch men mid-party. I'd wind up hooking up with the original unfunny guy which would be enjoyable, partly because he'd stopped talking. I'd get carried away in the after glow of "getting a little" so i'd think, "Yes, let me email him. Let us arrange to meet again. Maybe I'll get some more."
I could just invision us walking down Manhattan's 2nd avenue bumping into a number of people I know. I can see it now, I would wind up running into a comic who recently broke-up with his girlfriend of a year. I know I'd say something like, "You two are handling your break up really well. I'd totally be crushed if I were either one of you. I'd be weeping. A year's a long time. I'd probably be stalking the ex at this point." Which I'm sure would be prossessed by my date as "Abandon ship! Abandon ship. Fucking crazy bitch. Get out now while you still have your testicles." Little would he know I only want him for sex. But how could he know?
So thank god I'm in a wonderful, magnificent, loving relationship with Jack. Jack doesn't think I'm perfect but he loves me anyway, and I him.
Because I could just see me asking my date about his friend I had met at that party held two weeks ago. And then wondering, while he was answering, how I could get his friend's number. I know me. Quickly, my mind would probably shift back to my broken up friends. I know if I were single I'd wind up dwelling on their break up and continue to talk about it. If I had never met Jack I doubt I would have dated anyone for more than 3 months or so. I'm sure I'd share that information trying to down play the stalking comment earlier. I might even be so bold as to say, "If I had a relationship that lasted a year I'd throw myself a congratulations party for not running away." I think if I were single for 28 years and then had year long relationship a party would definitely be in order.
But obviously, I'm not single. I'm overly capable of having not only a long-term relationship but a long distance one. I also know how to live with a boyfriend when he's in employment transition. I know how to adjust to not living with him after he finally finds a place to live. God, I'm a superstar of love!
However, I could see if I were single how a date could end with us discussing how awkward the whole evening was. I could see me walking to the Q train on canal thinking, "How can I get one of my ex-romantic partners to have non-commital, non-dating sex with me. That would be perfect. I know that these ex-types won't kill me while we're having sex, because in the 5 weeks or 10 weeks we dated they didn't. We already had sex so we could continue to better our sex life together." However, I'm sure the single me wouldn't even know where to begin to even broach that subject. Because I'm sure the single me wouldn't be friends with most people I've dated after we've dated.
Good thing the single me is a completely hypothetical scenario. Luckily, I get to have sex day in and day out with an amazing man. God, just thinking about me being single makes me shudder.
I could just invision us walking down Manhattan's 2nd avenue bumping into a number of people I know. I can see it now, I would wind up running into a comic who recently broke-up with his girlfriend of a year. I know I'd say something like, "You two are handling your break up really well. I'd totally be crushed if I were either one of you. I'd be weeping. A year's a long time. I'd probably be stalking the ex at this point." Which I'm sure would be prossessed by my date as "Abandon ship! Abandon ship. Fucking crazy bitch. Get out now while you still have your testicles." Little would he know I only want him for sex. But how could he know?
So thank god I'm in a wonderful, magnificent, loving relationship with Jack. Jack doesn't think I'm perfect but he loves me anyway, and I him.
Because I could just see me asking my date about his friend I had met at that party held two weeks ago. And then wondering, while he was answering, how I could get his friend's number. I know me. Quickly, my mind would probably shift back to my broken up friends. I know if I were single I'd wind up dwelling on their break up and continue to talk about it. If I had never met Jack I doubt I would have dated anyone for more than 3 months or so. I'm sure I'd share that information trying to down play the stalking comment earlier. I might even be so bold as to say, "If I had a relationship that lasted a year I'd throw myself a congratulations party for not running away." I think if I were single for 28 years and then had year long relationship a party would definitely be in order.
But obviously, I'm not single. I'm overly capable of having not only a long-term relationship but a long distance one. I also know how to live with a boyfriend when he's in employment transition. I know how to adjust to not living with him after he finally finds a place to live. God, I'm a superstar of love!
However, I could see if I were single how a date could end with us discussing how awkward the whole evening was. I could see me walking to the Q train on canal thinking, "How can I get one of my ex-romantic partners to have non-commital, non-dating sex with me. That would be perfect. I know that these ex-types won't kill me while we're having sex, because in the 5 weeks or 10 weeks we dated they didn't. We already had sex so we could continue to better our sex life together." However, I'm sure the single me wouldn't even know where to begin to even broach that subject. Because I'm sure the single me wouldn't be friends with most people I've dated after we've dated.
Good thing the single me is a completely hypothetical scenario. Luckily, I get to have sex day in and day out with an amazing man. God, just thinking about me being single makes me shudder.
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