Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Saga of the Ham Continues

Oh that Anna. My best friend Anna sent me an email today. In the subject she wrote, "God Damn that Florist." I don't know if any of you remember the story of Anna sending an ex a ham in an attempt to get him to take back his break up. Read about it here.

Anna had some free time yesterday and rode her bike past the ex-non-monogomous romantic partner's apartment in Staten Island. The bitch of it, she said, was inflating the floatable wheels to ride across the New York Bay and then pedaling a bike across a body of water. I've told her to get a sail for that thing, but who listens to me. Anyway, she hadn't been to his place or even his borough since the break-up. But something in her just couldn't leave well enough alone. So she pedaled on land and water past her exe's home. When she looked up she noticed the address. That was not the address she had given the florist a year ago. "Rachael, who the fuck did they deliver that ham too? They charged me for a ham that he may never have received. God damn it! I'm not resending the Ham. It makes no sense now. Shit. Do I have to resend the ham?"

I wrote back: "No, you don't. Just find out who got the piece of pig and start dating him."

She responded: "But the card read, 'reconsider.' What does the stranger have to reconsider?"

Me: "Maybe the other dude reconsidered his whole existence. He's now an emotional marvel."

Anna: "Maybe the dude is a girl!"

Me: "Shit."

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