Heat Wave 2006!!!!

It's been hot here in NYC. You know how I know? Because the television told me so. If it weren't for the evening news I probably wouldn't have known why my flesh was melting. Hell, I might not even have noticed. On the news they kept talking about how we all needed to conserve energy. Suggestions they made included: Keeping lights off, turning thermostats to 78 degrees, using fans instead of A.C., have a power outage in your Queens neighborhood for over a week, etc. They did not, however, suggest to shut your television off. They didn't say, "stop watching the news and listen to a transistor radio station instead." Not only did they not suggest to stop watching their broadcast immediately, they further suggested we turn on our computers and log onto their website for more tips on how to conserve energy. Brilliant.

You'd think that during heatwaves where the sun is shining down on us sizzling our skins and emptying our pores we could make like Superman and harness the power of the sun. We could fly about saving kittens from trees and powering airconditioning units without Con Edison and thier flimsy grid.