Wednesday, November 29, 2006

2006 Thanksgiving in Review

My boyfriend Jack and I were left to our own devices this Thanksgiving. My parents fled to Florida with some friends and Jack's parents don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Jack's dad is a freelance non-Indian Indian Chief and finds the holiday too painful. Jack and I decided to head up to my aunt and uncle's house in Westport, CT. My aunt's a good cook (you know she doesn't use cheeze wiz) and my cousins are pretty funny.

Unfortunately during the course of dinner Jack's feelings got hurt. See, I'm engaged to my friend James who currently lives in Oregon. James doesn't want to end up alone so he asked me to marry him when he turned 42 which will occur in nine years. My boyfriend Jack and I agreed we'd help James in his time of need. James has no problem if I continue to see other people after we're married. The whole thing just works out perfectly. A few weeks ago James mailed me a ring of engagement which I wear because I'm engaged and that's what engaged women do.

I wore my ring to Thanksgiving dinner. I told my family the good news that I was engaged. They all congratulated me and toasted my pending nuptials. They all fawned over my ring and kept asking me about the wedding. Jack began to get irritated. He had come up to celebrate Thanksgiving and all my family could talk about was James who wasn't even there. Jack with a couple of glasses of Chianti in him exclaimed, "The wedding is nine years away! Rachael and I are dating right now."
The family was like, "Oh 9 years. Rachael, are you serious about this wedding?"
I find this question flawed. Because I am in the mindset that I will marry James but I think it's alot of fun being engaged and so in that regard I'm not serious. Perhaps when the novelty of engagement wears off in 4 or 5 years I'll be more serious about it.
Anyway, this nine years away thing got my family all panicked. They asked, "Rachael don't you think that wearing the engagement ring around all the time will deter other men from ever asking you out?"
Jack got really mad and said, "Hello! I'm right here! I'm not detered. I'm here in your house! Celebrating the slaughter of people my father works for. Jesus Christ!"
"Jack, honey. Calm down. Let me handle this." I told my relatives, "I wasn't really meeting men before I had a ring. I'm thinking it's not the ring that's a deterent."
"Yeah, it's me you crazies!"
And that's when we stopped pouring Jack wine.

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