Thursday, November 02, 2006

About Showering

It makes perfect sense why the shower is a homicidal maniac's favorite place to work. A shower victim is all sort of vulnerable.
1) You're barefoot and wet. Wet feet have no traction for fighting back in a slippery shower.
2) You're naked. Which means if you do have a bathmat and are able to fight back all the maniac has to say is, "Your ass sags." Next thing you know you instinctively stop punching the knife wielding intruder and use your hands to cover your sagging ass.
3) Your eyes are closed in an attempt to avoid soap in your eyes. Or, you have soap in your eyes. Either way you can't see some a homicidal maniac approaching.
4) The roar of the showerhead hitting the cast-iron (or whatever other material makes up your shower.) drowns out any other noises in the vacinity of the bathroom, such as approaching footsteps or music from "Psycho."
5)You're clean so germaphobe killers need not fear you.
6)Soap, shampoo, and conditioner smell good. People who smell good attract more people including violent, law-breaking types.

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